The Feinics Gate Podcast - Issue 170 - Diet Culture Has Entered the Chat

Ladies now it's Showtime. Let's show them we can rise from Ash, Jane, Lavender and Scarlet Phoenix power. So can't go where we rise. They try to ban us when one's like a flower. They didn't know we had a Phoenix's. Power, Phoenix. Power. What's up, everybody? It's your girl. Jade Phoenix. I'm here. I'm joined by via across the the pond, in a way. Across the river. Crimson's here with me. What's up, Crimson?

How's it going, everybody? How you doing doing? Good. I'm doing good. Just just hanging. Around, hanging around, flying around around, thwarting my plans. Thwarting your plans. Yeah, that's what I said. Thwart my plans. Yes. I knew it. Why do you always have to thwart my plans? Because it's fun. No, it's not. Hey I'm from. Fucking Florida. Fucking Dick, you laugh. I'm serious. I'm a little cranky, though I'm not going to deny it. I, I, I am a little cranky. I'm a little spicy. I'm a little spicy.

And that's probably because I'm on a diet again. You know, my deflated highlighter ass needs to be on a diet, apparently because I'm too fat.

I mean not, not all of us can be genetically blessed like you, Crimson. OK. More than OK. OK. More than OK. I could do better. All of us could do better, but you're pretty good. I'm a half mast. I need to hear this. I mean seriously, have you ever weighed more than 170 lbs in your life? Off of just, well, no. Off of just doing proper bulking and cutting, I would say I probably weighed slightly lighter, maybe by like 10 lbs. Then what you weigh now. But now it's it's becoming, Yeah. And now it's just now it's just as simple as just like switching up just my diet, honestly, and a few other things too.

But mostly, mostly all just about like 80 percent, 70%, just mostly all diet. Hey, baby. So now here, here's the fun fact. Like I am someone that suffers from an endocrine, Endocrinologic. Is that the word I'm trying to do? Because like, for some reason, my brain just went stuttering. I have an endocrine disorder. There we go. Is that better? Yeah, I have an endocrine disorder and it's actually huge news going on right now in the medical community because I was diagnosed as a 1314 year old girl with something called polycystic ovarian syndrome.

But thanks to these, the amazing amount of research that we've been getting over the the last decades, decades of research, they've decided to now change it. It is no longer polycystic ovarian syndrome. OK, they changed the name. It is now. Hold on. And I don't want to butcher this so I'm going to be bringing this up completely because it's now being defined as an endocrine disorder, which it should have been from jump, but fucking patriarchal society.

So the Pecos's new name has now officially been renamed as of yesterday, polyendocrine metabolic ovarian syndrome, also known as PIMOS. So the reason why they did this is because the old name was considered very inaccurate, stigmatizing, misleading, because most patients that have polycystic ovarian syndrome didn't have cystic ovaries, which is like one of the telltale signs that you have it, or so they thought. And it actually, we gave us delayed diagnosis, improper treatment, but because they're doing this now, this new name, it highlights the fact that it's metabolic and hormonal, endocrine in nature, which effects our fertility, our skin, mental health and our weight.

And since we're going to be talking about the quote UN quote, diet culture, basically this directly correlates and ties in. So I'm not going on a tangent here people. This is actually important information. So basically with this new name, we're actually able to get better medication, earlier diagnosis and have the proper things assigned to us now. And our, the, the problem with having this disorder is you, your, your body basically a lot of the way it was described to me when I was younger as like, you know, our system basically works as if we are a diabetic that has a working pancreas.

Like our body does not process sugar. It just doesn't, it stores it. It's like just constantly. I, I, we're insulin resistant. That is the, one of the words that was tossed around years ago for me. Insulin resistance, insulin resistance. And a lot of people don't understand that insulin resistance causes you to gain a lot of fucking weight very quickly, and it makes it next to impossible for you to lose that weight without drastic measures. Yeah, So like, that's what I said. Someone that's genetically blessed like you would never really understand.

Am I sitting here saying that that is the only reason why people gain weight? Absolutely the fuck not. I'm sure that if you even you, with your blessed metabolism, if you sat down and ate cookies and pies and cakes and all sorts of like processed bullshit every single day, three times or 4 * 5 * a day, you'd gain weight. Oh, no, of course I would get more of a gut if anything at that point then. But you know, I, I, I honestly, I've kind of cut down on sugars and stuff. I mean, besides maybe just a can of soda, but that's more just like honestly just for meals.

Like I really only have like anything soda related when it comes to a meal. That's true. You're always screaming at me about water. Yeah, I'm very big on drinking water because I prefer to stay hydrated than to be dehydrated. It also helps me with my exercising, but it also does help with with just in general conditioning too, like being properly hydrated actually does help with overall condition it when you're just exercising. And I know this mainly because since for over a decade of doing, you know, exercising, and I mean my exercise, my whole like my whole like start to fitness and everything started on the wrestling mats like literally in high school and like 90 degree 90° temperature rooms heated up just blasting.

And you have to fucking literally wrestle like do like a whole mother fucking do. That's probably even twice. At the time I was very skinny actually. And you literally Oh yeah, no, I was, I wasn't as tall either, but still like it was like sophomore start a fresh no end of end of freshman started sophomore year around that time.

So it I I was, I was starting off in wrestling. I weighed in maybe like one. Oh yeah, no, I at that year, I was probably 112. What I was wearing, I was skinny. Jesus. But but because of the amount of extra, again, you're you're literally talking about a kid who just semi fresh into high school and just going into the second year. So it's like my height, I got I, I was definitely taller than most people in my, in my, in my weight class. But then after just doing months and months and months of just like just straight up torture, which I will say it is literally torture because it's not easy to to do the things that wrestlers do in their like training rooms.

Like it's not such a very easy task because those coaches will put you in harsh conditions, which is not like, oh, you know, you get like a, an AC room, you know, you don't have to worry about. No, no, no, no. They purposely heat up those rooms to high temperatures to make sure you make weight. That's insane. They do that on purpose. They make you do all types of conditioning.

You know, my coach gave me the whole rundown on my regiment plan. You know, he, he kind of went, you know, we kind of went over it and you know, it eventually it got to a point where we did end up butting heads at one point, but that I will explain that in like a quick second a moment. But we essentially just having to do a lot of conditioning was definitely one of the biggest things because it helps with stamina. So it allows us to properly last longer during matches so that we can literally outpace our opponents, pretty much whoever we're facing up against in the weight class.

So here's a question. Now I understand that. I understand that a lot as I was a dancer back in the day. I was a dancer and we had to work out quite extensively to keep our muscles in a way where, you know, we didn't have to. We were constantly having to stay at a certain weight as well because you know, dances is like that. But for me, it was more the like, and I'm not even gonna you what you think. Wrestling culture is bad, dance culture is worse. Dance culture is so much worse. Oh my God. Like if you were over a size 2, you were behemoth if you had titties.

If you had titties, you were fat. They no and. I think, I think it's also, it's also one of the things because my nieces also do dance. Yeah. So now I, I don't know, I'm pretty sure. I don't think it's, I can't really, I don't know if you can, but I, I, I don't think it's like that. Because if that was the case, my my brother-in-law would not be putting them or putting them through that because he's very much a daddy's girl. But at least for them, I don't think they're having to worry about that.

But I know when it came to dance culture, like old dance culture, I don't know if it's still current, but I mean, hell, the conditions that they would put those girls through or, or the guys I know there's. Yeah. Like, you know, the way that they would, Yeah, like the whole thing with their shoes and like the the amount of just torture they put their feet through. It's like, oof. Oh yeah, no, it's true. Yeah, it's true. Yeah, that, that was one thing. I've always, I've always, I've always I, I can give my my respects too, because it's, it's a lot of physical.

Yeah. What's the word? I'm trying to look for training. I wouldn't really call it torture. It's it's a lot of like. Training. Training. It's training. Yeah, it is training. But there's another word I will try to look for. It's a lot of like physical wear and tear, I guess, for lack of better words, Like it's taxing. It could be very taxing on on the body, especially when it comes to dancers feet and legs. I know a lot of people receive so many leg injuries and or just foot injuries just from that and then they can't dance anymore.

No, it's true. It's true. So what what had happened to me is I was always taller than everybody. I was always, I developed first. So I had curves. I was always a bigger girl. I have a thick frame. My, you know, it's very heavy bones, dense bones. I was never going to be a prima ballerina. I did not have the build. I could have done other types of dancing, and I did. But ballerinas, no, I can never be 1 because I got boobies. So because I had boobies, my teacher immediately was like, you're never going to be a dancer like that.

And imagine hearing that at 8-9 years old. Because like I said, I developed very early. Being told by your dance teacher who has taught you since you are three. I had been in dance classes since I was three years old. Being told at 9910 years old may be the latest. You'll never be a dancer because you're too fat. I haven't even gone through proper puberty and I was being told that I was too fat. This is in the 90s, OK? I'm being told as a little girl, you're too fat. You'll never be a dancer. OK.

Diet culture is like this weird haunted carnival ride. You know it. It sells health. But half the time, it's really just selling guilt and shame control trends and basically a subscription box with dusted mushroom protein powder that nobody wants. Yeah. You know, And it's like, imagine growing up in that kind of like this kind of culture. I mean, obviously diet culture has been around since like, forever, I mean. I want to say it was even worse before and this is and this is going and this is going off of the experience from like I'm going to use, I'm just going to use just strictly my time during wrestling.

OK, right.

And it it there's when it comes to combat sports, I'm going to put combat sports out there as, as one of the things because wrestling also falls under that it all falls under, under the same umbrella. And the types of dieting and conditioning and all that is essentially very similar. Yeah, when it comes to at least my experience within wrestling, a lot of the times, luckily at the time I was wrestling for the 115 weight class because I was around that that ballpark range of 115 for that Jesus. And essentially like I, I didn't have to struggle the way some of the other people did.

No, because you were already at that weight class like naturally. Not even just that, but not even just that. It's also, there's a there's a couple factors, so I'll explain that in a second. When it comes to dieting within combat sports, the one thing that no matter what you always have to do and you always have to maintain, it's to make sure you make weight. You need to make sure you make weight. It does not matter how the fuck you make weight, they don't care. They want you to make that weight because if you don't make weight, it's a problem.

Yes, I know, I have bodybuilder friends. And Yep, and a lot of the, a lot of the times when it comes to,

you know, at the time, like a lot of the dudes and I would see it too, like they would starve themselves. Like they would starve themselves for like 2-3 days. Like literally, I personally would just in the way I was just like, I'm not doing that. I'm, I'm not going to be starving myself for like 2-3 days to, to, you know, and, and they'll probably have like small stuff that maybe just increases their, their body, the, the water, the water density in their body and that's about it. And then they could just easily lose that quickly, right?

So they'll have like stuff like that. But when it comes to like when it came for me, when it came to stuff like that, I was just like, no, I'm not doing that. The most I did was maybe just not eat lunch at all. Like and I'd even have, I really wasn't even much of A breakfast person at the time either. So you could say kind of like I didn't eat really the whole day. I maybe snacked on something small and that was it. And I would always check my weight. But the day before I'm not starving myself. The day before that I'm not starving myself.

I mean, shit, there was even times where right before weigh insurance were going to start in for a match like some of the guys, and this is like, believe it or not, this this is some shit that sometimes they would fucking do. They would go and puke in the bathroom. They're just like, and I'm like and I'm like, dude. Like I knew a lot of. Dancers just not And that's and that's the thing, it it for them. It's like you can be a little bit.

It's like for them, it, it, it's, it's the numbers don't really matter. It's more on the appearance. But for when it comes to combat sports, appearance doesn't fucking matter. It's the numbers that matter. And it it can go down to the ounce. So if you're even over by an ounce, it's a problem and it will be a problem. And the coach, even again, even if it's just an ounce, like I said, just one ounce, the coach would make it an issue. They would not make an exception. Sometimes it would be like go go run a quick lap and then come back like just so you can sweat out that one ounce like they they take it to that extreme.

They would force you to go pee. They'll force you to go pee. Yeah, like I I'm I was again, I was fortunate enough I never had to do that. It only towards the end of that year I had to I had to to to probably maybe I went to pee once and that was about it. And even then, so it still seems a bit sketchy, which I told my coach about this too. And this is kind of where we then at this point started to butt heads. I was weighing in at like 111 weigh in. I was weighing in at like 1, I want to say like 20-3 or something like that.

I was just like, what the fuck? Like I'm just like, dude, I just weighed myself. I didn't even eat anything. How the fuck? And then it clicked in my head. One of those bastard fucking coaches because the other coaches from the other fucking team were there. He was standing on the back of your fucking scale. They put their foot on the side of the scale because the sides also pick up the weight too. So all they have to do is just nudge your foot and if nobody's looking, that scale is going to go up on the on the weight.

And I was just like, and the coach was like, dude, what the fuck? And I was just like, I don't understand. This doesn't make any sense. I literally just weighed myself before this. These numbers are not making any sense. And he was just like, go, go, go, you know, go, go outside real quick. I was just like, all right, I'm, I'm just going to go take a piss or whatever. And I told him that I went over, went to go take a fucking piss. And I was just like, well, fuck it then I guess I'm just not going to fucking wrestle today and it's going to be resulting in a fucking loss.

I'm not going to fucking puke my guts out for this fucking match. Fuck that. Right, right, right. Come back, come back and he's just like my coach calls me over. He's just like stand on the scale again. I'm like, OK, I step onto the scale. I literally made it at like 114. I'm like what the fuck? So magically you lost £9 just from going to the bathroom. £9 just, I took a £9 piss and it was coach was just like, how are you making weight now? I'm like literally all I did was went to go take a piss.

Like I, I highly doubt I took a £9 piss. I, I said straight to him. I didn't take a £9 piss and I told him straight up right then and there. I was just like, I think one of the other coaches was putting their foot on the scale and he didn't really say anything after I said that. He just stayed. He just stood there quiet and was just like, all right, well, go, go get ready. I'm like, all right. But like it was at that point where it just like it started to piss me off a little because I'm just like, yo, you, you, you don't like trust me at all.

Like come on, man. Like I've been making weight constantly for like months and months. And now the one time I don't make weight and it's just drastic that loose. I was just like, you know what? And then it, it did reach a point towards the end, I was actually struggling. I think now this is going on my junior year of high school was like mid year, like kind of like, you know, not mid year. It was like maybe 1/3 of the year already going through for, for high school. And I was like already like struggling to maintain under 115.

And I had to talk to the coach. I was like, Hey, listen, you know, I'm I'm trying my best. I'm trying to make sure I make weight. I'm not eating like fatty foods or nothing or none of that stuff. And I'm exercising regularly. And dude, I'm having a hard time trying to maintain this weight. Like, and we have other people emotional, damn it. But like, you know, we were talking and I told them I'm like, listen, can I just go up in weight? Like can I just go up to 120? Because then this way it makes it a little bit easier for me to maintain the weight because and I can't.

And I'm making logical sense. I'm like, dude, I'm, I'm too tall to be in this weight anyway, All right. My semi natural weight, my healthy weight. I would put that because I, I, I know what my healthy weight should have been at which the bare minimum, the lowest I should have been was probably around 1:15, but I was already scaling up and I was already kind of like, you know, struggling to even stay at that weight. And that's the lowest my body weight should be based off of, you know, the basic BMI scale and all that crap.

Which the BMI is bullshit. But but yeah, and with, with, with the whole thing with that. And then we started getting into a whole another thing then with that. And he was just like, Oh yeah, yeah, we'll we'll talk about it later. And then every time I keep bringing up I'm like coach, like, come on, like I'm really struggling here. He's like, yeah, yeah, yeah, we'll talk. I was like, all right, reaching towards the end of the, you know, the year pretty much. And I was just like, I told my coach, I was like, listen, I can't keep doing this like I'm I'm going to quit.

I'm just going to have to quit because I'm not, I'm not going to force myself into an unhealthy wage just because you need somebody or you want me to maintain at 1:15. Like we have other people that can take it. But dude, there's First off, there was a shorter guy who First off, he would eat like a slob. He would say that he ate, he ate like a slob. And he would be, he was around the £120 and I was just like, coach, you know, he can literally cut the weight perfectly fine and wrestle at 1:15. I can, we can swap places.

And then he just wouldn't allow it. I'm just like, all right, that that was already the breaking point for me because I was like, no, I'm not going to do this because it's not healthy. No, because this is what what could if you weren't, if you weren't more like aware of your own self and and had a good head on your shoulders, you could have gotten an eating disorder, like. Yeah, and. I know a lot of people did. A lot of people did have have issues with that because it reached the point like, dude, it was so stressful for a lot of the kids there.

Yeah, I know. Like dude, we're talking about like high schoolers and hell, this shit could I? I know for a fact even just combat sports, like professionals, they go through the ringer a lot more like we went through it bad. But I know for a fact on a more higher professional level it's even worse because they don't give that leeway. They don't. But it's just one of those things. It's like, what are you willing to sacrifice? Are you willing to sacrifice your health and well-being? Was I willing to do that for the sport personally?

No, not really, because again, again, I really did this more because I enjoyed the sport. I like doing it. And it taught you I was good enough. Yeah. And, and honestly, it was, it was a good exercise for me. It actually helped me open up to exercising a lot more and the fact that it also helped my body break that threshold that it was struggling for years to just put on weight because ever since I was young, I've always had a hard time putting on weight. Yeah, I had the opposite, but. After doing that, after doing all of that, like very strenuous exercising, conditioning, all that, I mean, for fuck's sake, they even put me wrestling.

The coach would literally this sounds there's not much torture you would put me through. He literally had me. So imagine this, a 113 LB wrestler and he's making me spar with a 220. Literally a dude damn near twice my weight and I have to and I have to swing his body around for drills and I have to be literally lifting all of that weight. Were you able to do it? Oh yeah, I had to because it was either it was either sink or swim at that point. Like I had to literally lift up this dude. Mind you, this was a high schooler.

This kid was a junior in high school and this dude was huge. Like he was at least maybe 6 foot 5 weighing in at like 220. Like this dude was insanely heavy. And I know I'm pretty sure there's like a lot of people who are like six of five and and they weigh probably more than that. Well, for. For for a kid kid that's pretty fucking big. So we're talking about literally like what most people graduate at high school at like 1819. Like this dude is literally like 1718 at weighing in at at fucking damn near Green Giant size.

Like OK boy, like what? The fuck? And you're just tossing him around like it's nobody's business.

I would, I, I had to. Like, it was a struggle at first. It was a struggle at first. I'm not going to say I was doing it with ease at the start, but eventually like my back muscles developed as much as it did because of that. It's called a hustle, sweetheart. I would say if it wasn't because of wrestling, I would not have as the, the, as developed back muscles as I do now because of that, because it had to, it had to, my body had to get put through those conditions in order to develop the way that it did.

And that that's, that's, that's a struggle. No, I believe it. You know, after that, once I finished with that and I just, you know, I told the coach, fuck this, I'm out just by sheer fucking it. It was like it was like it was destiny at this point, Like it had to have happened at this time. Literally a gym opened up right next to the high school. They used to call this the club metro gym. They still have one over in Newark in New Jersey, but they opened up this one near the high school and that one was like that.

That was, that's when I my whole journey of like just the gym kicked off at that point and I took everything in terms of conditioning, weightlifting and all that. I took all of that and literally took it to just doing it out myself every fucking day after high school in the gym 2 hours a day and and just doing what I got to do like lifting. So you were shredded.

Throughout the majority of the rest of high school going into college, yeah. Now I will say I have I have after college because, you know, life and priorities like I had to focus on looking for a job. I had to focus on like, you know, looking for other things. I would say maybe towards the end of college, like a few months because I have to worry about my final exams. Like everything started started coming down on me and I literally had to either, you know, something had to go for for time constraints reasons.

Like I literally have to work on my final project. Literally have to like weeks and weeks and weeks of like work. Putting into that project. So basically you're telling me that you just had to give up your routine by going to the gym and doing what you do because priorities overtook that? I mean it. Happened, they overtook that. But then afterwards, yeah, that happens. I mean that that's that's normal for I would say majority of people, right? It happens, but I didn't have that. I didn't have that stop me in any way.

I then once everything was kind of settled and I had the time and I was able to do it out, I went back. You know, I did end up shooting myself in the foot a little bit because it was starting off. I made the very big mistake of I'm just like, I know I somehow I'm able to lift up the same weights that I did where I left off. Oh, that's crazy. Oh no, that was a big fucking mistake. Ended up ended up really straining the muscles enough. I didn't do like a major tear or anything, but I did tear the muscle fibers enough to where it hurts.

So the next day, so did you have to turn around and start relying this on diet instead after you did this? So that's where. I was actually doing diet. I was doing, I was doing diet back then after the after starting at the gym. Right 'cause like. So that literally revolved around majority for me at the time when I started off, yeah, it was a little bit like, you know, just taking in whatever I can grab. Most of the stuff was just home cooked meals and most of that stuff for me, it was kind of already natural.

But then obviously, you know, you still have your cheat meals and stuff here and there. I I know for a fact, because then I I also worked with the personal trainers there because eventually I ended up working at that that same gym as well. And I ended up essentially like getting a lot of that stuff where my experience with dieting and this and that, they kind of gave me the whole rundown on where I can optimize my dieting for my, you know, instead of just working out, working out, working out, working out and kind of primarily focusing on that.

Well, yes, I am eating well, but there's other things I can take in to improve that. So I kind of optimize, you know, for that. May I speak now? Yeah. So diet culture being as you just spent the last like 25 minutes telling us about your personal experiences with diet culture back in, I would say this is like the 2000s, twenty 10s. Yeah, roughly around there and then kind of going into the late 10s. Right. So basically diet culture, it's something that changes its skin every decade. This is a beast that keeps rebranding itself.

And here's an example, like in the 90s, as I was talking about in the very beginning, where a nine year old girl was literally told she was too fat. That's because in the 90s, looking like you were a fucking heroin addict was what was considered the standard of beauty, healthy. That was what was considered the standard of beauty. Then as I got into my high school years, which was the 2000s, everything was low fat, everything needed to be low fat. But we were starting to kind of get away from the ultra thin, but we were also still very much flat stomach, but you were allowed to have curves a little bit.

Now you know, you were. We were starting to get away from the Super skinny. Then in the 2000 and 10s, it became all waist trainers and detox teas. And this is like, I would say when the fitness influencer era, I guess really started to become a thing where it was quote, UN quote, clean eating, you know, the paleo diet, the carnivore diet, Atkins, all like there were so many different diet plans that just didn't work. They just didn't work. Now the current era that we're in, it's all about hormone balancing, gut health, obsession, biohacking, what I eat in a day, Wellness, it's the same fucking thing.

It's just in different fonts, you know, And what I want to know is when did food become morality? You know, like people treat eating like, it's something like, like it's an alignment chart, you know, like salad is good, cake is bad, weight gain is failure, but being super thin is discipline. And it's like that fucks with your head on a psychological level. I mean, again, going back to a nine year old girl who just started develop thanks to puberty being told she's too fat. Do you realize that my entire developmental mind became obsessed with the fact that I was too fat at 9:00?

That's at age 9. I became so obsessed with my weight I developed an eating disorder. And that's the thing too, like even at nine years old, like I know a lot of kids, like I could use a lot of my cousins as an example, like they used to be like on the chubby side, like not even like all kids. No, like chubby, all of them. And that's again that also again, that part, part of that stuff can also be just diet kids at that young age, they kind of tend to eat like a little crummy. It's like, I want my chicken Nuggets, I want this, I want that.

But it's not most of the time it's not really anything like super excessive, like they have a little bit of a chub. But I do, I will say like they're, you know, depending on certain circumstances, like dude, I've seen kids that were like that and they get like, let's just say like start up high school, dude, it looks like all the fucking fat just milk right off of it. Sometimes. Sometimes. Then they then they just becomes, yeah, not all of them, but I'm saying like a good chunk of them, like they end up losing all of it.

And that's the thing. They not even just lose it, now it's hard for them to even pack on weight. Well that also depends because diets also fail long term for most people. Research always shows, like there's very, very rare instances that it doesn't nowadays that a large percentage of people regain the weight that they lost on any of these fad diets within a few years after they are done with the diet. Like they're doing super restrictive dieting, within a few years they're going to gain all the weight back and the cycle literally often becomes restriction, weight loss, rebound eating guilt, repeat.

And the industry that the diet culture has built profits even more from these repeat customers more than permanent success. So obviously they are already built into fail. Any diet that you're on is just always just assume you're going to fail. You're going to fail I. I will say this, and this is mostly from my experience with personal trainers Now with them they they kind of did because I was working with the gym and everything. They did things a little bit different with me, but when it came to their clients, they they can they can ensure that they lose their weight and maintain or meet their goal weight fast.

Maintaining is a different story. Not just maintaining, and that's the thing. That's also the thing too. Once people reach that goal weight, they'll be like, oh, I don't need personal training anymore. I'm good. I'm where I'm at, where I want to be. Goodbye. And they stopped with the personal training. But the problem is, like you said, maintaining it. They then do not know how to continue to maintain it. No. So rather than learning and staying longer to learn how to properly maintain the weight, ask questions, this and that, sometimes some of the people they're just there just to lose meet their goal way.

And once they meet it, OK, they're done, they're out, right? But that's why when it comes to personal trainers, they do what's called essentially kind of just like dialing it back their progress because for one, you know, reaching their progress too fast. Also it can have different effects physically, like for instance, you know, depending on how much weight they're losing, right, they can get saggy skin. They can, you know, that's rough buddy. Like I've seen, I've seen a dude who was huge, the dude was huge and he lost a shit ton of weight so fucking fast.

Like just exercising because he wouldn't, he never really did it all his life. He was just starting to do it. And then once he got into it, he was just burning straight through it. And you know, he had excess skin, which is done over time. It kind of, you know. It'll go back. It molded it, yeah. It kind of went back to normal where it was supposed to be, you know, everything went where, what, where it needed to go. But that's the thing that's they do those, they do the dialing back on their progression for those reasons and also helps maintain clients too.

Well, yeah, that's another thing. The diet industry is worth billions. Billions. The global weight loss and Wellness market is so massive that it literally keeps growing because insecurity is profitable and things that are sold underneath diet culture. I've, I'll admit this list that I made, I've tried almost every single one of them. In fact, maybe all of them supplements, You know, like I don't know if you remember back in the day, like fucking Fen Fen and Garcinia Cambogia and and all these fucking like fat burners and all that fucking shit.

Yeah. Yeah. Which they still exist now they. Do but but. Not like, not the way the new ones coming out. Right. I mean hello GLP ones, they just made a pill. You know meal plans tried them all detoxes Dunham using an app, you know to to track what I eat, what I'm doing, my weight loss, my weight gain, all this fucking shit gym programs. I do them super foods, you know, like, Oh yeah, if you eat this you'll lose a fuck ton of weight, like dragon fruit or whatever the fuck else that they were saying is like, you know, you could lose a lot of weight on grapefruit.

A lot of that also, yeah, a lot of that also depends on the person like it does some of this stuff does do what it does, but or it does do what they say. But The thing is, the very very big key factors is also how the. Genetics is a huge factor. I mean, that's why I brought up the. Fucking one person could be. That's why that's why I brought up my disorder, you know, yeah. Like, you know, like, because of this disorder, because of, you know, my inability to lose weight. And it wasn't because I was lazy.

It wasn't because I wasn't dieting. Like OK, I'll give you a little example. Tell me how I had an eating disorder and I was addicted to a lot of drugs in my teenage years, one of them being cocaine. Not ashamed to admit this fucking I was. I had a troubled childhood. Fuck off if you're going to judge me, OK? How was I still fat when I didn't eat and I just snorted away most of my fucking money? But I was still fat. I was still overweight. I was still considered fucking fat. And I can guarantee you back then, I think the my weight was like 130 at the time.

I think at my smallest weight in high school, my smallest weight in high school was £130 and I was still. How tall were you? 5/8 and 1/2, I was 5/8 and a half, 130 lbs and I was still called fat because I didn't have a flat stomach, because I had a bit of a, because I had a bit of a poochie, because I have the polycystic belly, because I had major fucking cortisol that would I have what is known as a stress belly. I have cortisol belly, you know, because of all these things that I went through teenager, college, army, you know, I, I, yeah, I, I got healthy, I got off the drugs.

I fucking, you know, went to the Army. I, I served the country. I did what I needed to do, you know, did did it fuck me up in other ways? Yes. Which of course tied into the whole fucking thing with my brain about the dieting. I ended up year years later having to have a surgery. I got a gastric. I got a gastric sleeve because at one point because of an injury, I suffered a very serious back injury and I could no longer maintain because I was very active with my job and going to the gym and just, you know, my life.

I no longer was able to do that. Put that injury where it kept me bed bound for most of the time that I I was there suffering from it, you know, still suffering from it to this day. I was bed bound for months at a time. Like, yeah, I could get up and move around, but not anywhere near the way that I was. I ballooned. My heaviest was 327 lbs.

I was 327 lbs in 2016 and thanks to being tall, I did. Nobody ever knew that I was that big. They only just assumed that I was like over £200. I was huge, you know, like to the point where I would wear shapewear, Bajas corsets just to give me the semblance of the curves that I used to have because I never really lost them, which is nice. But I was a big bitch, all right. I was a big bad bitch. And I ended up having a gastric sleeve in 2018. So 2016, 2015 is when I got injured, 2016 is when I had my spinal surgery, 20.

And that because of that, I was already a little big. And then I ballooned up. And then in 2018, I had to have the gastric sleeve. And from 300, my, my heaviest weigh in was 327. And the process back then for the gastric sleeve, because it was a different process back then, you had to lose as much weight as possible before your surgery. So I was put on a very restrictive diet. And then leading up to the month before my surgery, it was all liquids. I was not allowed to eat solid food for a month.

The day of my surgery. When I went into my surgery, I was 272 lbs because of all the dieting. Then thanks to my surgery, over the course of the next, over the course of a couple of years up until I would say COVID time, yeah, I would say COVID.

I started to lose a lot of weight. I dropped down and then I was, I managed to get pretty healthy right before. Well, healthy, uh, let me say healthy, uh, right before COVID hit, I was at 205 lbs. Right before COVID, I was in the gym every single day working out. I was going to physical therapy, I was dieting. I even went vegan for a little while because, you know, the person I was dating was vegan and he said that I was too fat. So, you know, he wanted me to eat the way that I that he ate. Then we ended up whatever.

That's a whole different fucking trauma that we can talk about on another show. But, you know, honestly, like, he was always forcing me to do the detox shit. He was always forcing me to like do all these things. And then COVID hit and I was stuck inside the house and I didn't have, you know, the ability to really do what I was doing. So I'll admit, I got lazy. I gained back quite a bit of weight. I gained. I went from 205 and I ballooned back up. Even with a gastric sleeve, I ballooned back up to like 250 lbs.

And it has only been over the past three years that I have been able to drop down to the weight that I am at now. And that is only because I busted my fucking ass to do so. So I started my weight loss journey in 2023. I was about 247 lbs. I started it in 2023. By the end of 2023 I was at 229. By the end by 2024 I was at 2152025I got down to underneath £200. Now here we are to May of 2026. I officially weigh and I'm still losing weight. Mind you I've not stopped. I officially weigh 106. I weigh 167 lbs.

Nice. And that is with diet, because I have not been in the gym. That is all diet. And Crimson can attest, he screams at me all the time because I am a chronically dehydrated bitch. Chronically dehydrated. I'm not a they. They like some assholes out there and fucking whatever land in Gotham. They like to call me a deflated highlighter because they swear that my weight loss is from Ozempic. I'm not on Ozempic. I, I can get to where I am with Ozempic or terzepatide or, or any of it or Govi, none of it.

I didn't do that. I worked out, I dieted, I busted my ass. And unfortunately, because of the mental trauma, I still have an eating disorder. I'm not going to deny this. I I won't eat. I don't eat. It's not full anorexia because I do eat. But yeah, you have to force me to do it. I do. You do. And what sucks is that like the BMI still says I'm fat. I'm at 167 lbs. I am 5/8 and 1/2. I am 41, OK, 41 years old. And I have a lot of muscle on me because I've busted my ass trying to get my muscle back. But the BMI still says I'm overweight.

It still says. That's also that's also with a lot of bodybuilders too. Yeah, they it's the same thing. Yeah, because it doesn't. But in this case. Like it doesn't, the weight does not account. That's why when it comes to the BMI scale, the BMI, this is the way I see the BMI scale. It's good for a general reference, but it's nothing to like, oh, this is the end all be all decision and factor as to where that person needs to be at. Yeah. It doesn't account for muscle, body composition, genetics, your ethnicity, your, your, whether you're a male or a female, fucking overall Wellness.

It does not account for any of that. No, it doesn't. It, it, it's, well, no, male or female, Yes, they do do that. Actually, that's not that's not entirely correct. Yes, because they have two separate BMI skills. Oh. So they do, they do, yes, they do. I don't know what was the last time you might have double checked or if you know, but that actually is a factor into that. It does. It does shift the scales a bit on there. But no, but you're, but you're right, there's like a lot of key factors when it comes to a person's weight that is just not taken accounted for.

Like for example, like we're not even talking about bodybuilders at this point. We're talking about like straight up power lifters, like weight lifters, and we're talking about like competitions and stuff. Like we're talking about like dudes like the mountain. Like these these dudes are built like fucking giants. They are giants. Like they, they, I, I know, but I'm saying like it's to the point where like they can really, they can literally put their whole hand over someone's face. Like, like, that's how huge they are.

Crush. Crush and it's and it's like, and they're not really unhealthy, it's just they have a lot of muscle density. A. Huge amount of it. No, that's another. Reason why? And some people, Oh yeah, and some people would say, oh, and these are the really ignorant people that state this too, which is just like they'll stay all if they don't look like how Greek sculptures look and they're not healthy or that's not the ideal. No, that's not true. The. Impossible. Beauty standard structure Yeah it's it's listen they they I I don't give a fuck what the fuck they said or what people's ideals are like the best body type were they literally had sculptures with dudes of like micro penises and small ass Dicks and said that's like the ideal Dick size.

Everyone's trapped in the meat labyrinth. No, no, it's so, it's so fucking crazy. It's so fucking crazy because like women are expected to be thin but have curves toned but not too old and. Almost no boobs. Toned but not too muscular, natural but flawless and effortless but with high maintenance. And don't think that men don't get it either. Men get it too. Oh yeah no. Men are the like the alpha male body pressure, steroid culture, the impossible gym expectations and to have a shredded physique and be over 6 feet tall with a beard.

Like they like they want you to they want you in particular men in particular to look like these fucking Greek gods or Viking men or just like like listen hot do not get me wrong. Hello. I would climb you like a motherfucking tree and say hey, how you doing. But I also know that that is an impossible standard to maintain unless you are like you, Crimson, genetically blessed. Not everybody. Not even just that. Not everybody. Life your your your whole life revolves around the gym. Yeah, well, I know plenty of people.

Whose lives do as competitions and stuff like that. That's, that's the, that's probably the main thing you can. And you know what's funny? We know plenty of people that do that. Too. Yeah, but people don't realize this part. There are still body dysmorphia with people who are crazy shredded facts. And they say I'm still too small, I need to be bigger. Facts and they they kill. Themselves and never and never. And it never ends. No, I have extreme body dysmorphia. I know that I am so much, it's so much smaller than I used to be, but I still look in the mirror and I still see that fat 320 something pound bitch.

I still see her. I still see her, you know, and like having certain people who sit there and claim that they live in the gym, but meanwhile they got titties that are almost as big as mine and then sitting there and. Saying. Like they, they'll, they'll sit there and body shame you for, for, for being, you know, tall and, and skinny. They body shamed you. They body shamed me. They call me a deflated highlighter. They say that I'm that like, the only reason like that, that everything's falling off of me is because of, of a fucking weight loss shot.

You know, not because nobody sits there and sees that I'm doing hard fucking work. You know, you can take all the, you can take all the weight loss shots you want. That's not gonna prevent 100%. No. Losing your weight. You would progress very slowly if that was the case. Yeah, but we mean more. You got people out here that sit there and are claiming they know better than we we do because they quote UN quote live in the gym. It's funny, those same people also have a hard time losing a gut because they're quote UN quote bulking where I I, you know, it's even funny.

I even mentioned this to one of my my personal trainer friends and they looked at me with such disgust and side eye when I told them that. And it just like, yeah, I don't understand how you are supposed to be getting a huge, like everything's supposed to be proportional. If you're bulking, why is it that your gut is like the biggest thing and then yet you want to talk about that just tells me you're not properly bulking. No. And I know this. No, and, and, and it's like it's hilarious. They make these giant men, they, they sit there and they'll make manifestos about it.

Meanwhile, neither of us are body shaming anybody. We never will because we know what it's like to be body shamed I. I will say this, I will put a person in their fucking place when they start body shaming. I'll be like, look at you. Have you seen yourself in the fucking mirror? No, you are. Do you really want to be the one to talk right now? Like I, I, I I'll start pointing out everything. What about this? What about that? What about, Oh, you don't like it? All right. OK, so why are you talking about all these other people when they're working their hardest to to get to where they need to get to?

Right, Because that's the thing. I had to bust my ass to get to the weight that I need to get to. All right, same. Because believe it or not, just as much as it is hard for some people to lose fucking weight, it's really fucking hard for other people to gain fucking weight. It's true. I one of my friend's husbands, he's shout out to Timmy Bones. He is over 6 foot five, I think, or 6 foot four. And he is chronically underweight. Chronically underweight. Like, I don't think that man weighs more than £120 soaking wet.

And he's like 6 foot four, OK. Like, and, and it's a problem because people will body shame him, they'll body shame him, they'll body shame his wife, you know, because they, they're just, they're idiots. And it's honestly, I blame social media because social media has turned bodies into content, you know? Yeah, that also doesn't help too. There there is that that factor. Right, you know, and and the fact is is like TikTok does the body checking thin SPO, you know, you got filters and editing and fitness influencers who secretly dehydrate before their photos and cosmetic surgery that's getting hidden behind workouts.

You know, and a lot of this quote UN quote, effortless beauty is actually lighting, angles, money, genetics, starvation, editing and surgery. The yeah, the algorithm loves insecurity because insecurity buys things. Oh yeah. Then it funnels them all into the different products that they can do, go to pretty much purchase and be like, hey, if you take this, you'll get this. Like I can't count how many times. And this is what's so funny to me because I'll start scrolling through my social media feed and I start getting like on occasions here and there.

I'm like, it makes no fucking sense for me to be getting this. I just find it fucking comical. I start seeing fat burners and I'm like. What the algorithm thinks you need fat burners. I, I was laughing. I saw that shit. I was, oh man, I I was laughing so fucking hard because I'm just like, you know what it is? I think it's because of those same people. You know what it was? I think it's because of the conversation of people who talk shit and yet they have guts and and that I think that's what started what's what started that feed started to pop up on on on my social media of just like fat burns true, most of the course old bellies.

Dude, most of the people that bodies me or make fun of the way that I look really shouldn't. They look no better. No, they look so much worse. Oh my God. And you know what I hate? It's hilarious. I. Hate even saying that about people because I try to be nice and I try to give everybody grace, but. Oh no, don't get me wrong. Yeah, I do the exact same. It's just like, let me say this, don't speak or talk smack about other people's appearances when you know for a shadow of a doubt the many you walk home and go home and you look at yourself in the mirror every fucking day and you look like complete shit

like. I mean, listen, there's. Always because I I, I'm that type of person to humble people, but go ahead. There's always going to be that person that like, no matter how they look, they're going to look good. There's no there. There's a a a there'll. Be some, let the. There'll be some, but. Let them have their delusions. Yeah, Crimson, you can't take away their delusions. Let them have him. But what I'm going to say is. Honestly. They shouldn't throw rocks in glass houses. Oh, that is honestly, I think that's, I think for this year that is the.

Quote, it is for this year it is. That's why I try not to do it, because I know I am. I am no better in a lot of ways. I try not to throw those rocks. But hey, listen, we are now. We've reached the destination of Wishabitch Woods, and the Queen of Petty is here to stay because y'all want to. You don't want to get fucking froggy? Let's jump motherfucker. I'll show you. I was really good at Frogger back in the day. I'm pretty good at jumping. OK, but I want to ask one last question before we close it up.

Diet culture often disguises control as self improvement, but there's a difference between caring for your body versus being taught that you're worth depends on shrinking it. So don't get me wrong, my plus size girls, gays, days and whatever, I love you. I absolutely love you. I'm not sitting here saying you need to change a goddamn thing about yourself unless you want to or you just want to be healthy. I'm not sitting here saying that my weight loss equates myself worth. Does it help my brain? Oh yes, it helps my brain gremlins so fucking much can.

Because remember, we are dealing with a little girl that as early as nine years old was told she was fat. OK, so this is just what helps my brain gremlins. I am a firm believer that caring for your body is priority and if that self-care is a fucking box of chicken nuggies every once in a while, then fucking eat the chicken nuggies. Just don't go overboard. That's that's what I got to say about it. You know, like, if you don't have to restrict yourself, but at least no fucking limitation, you know, no one to say no, That's that's it.

You know, like, and again, I'm being hypocritical here saying any of this considering I have an eating disorder, I have body dysmorphia, all that fucking shit. But at least I can sit here and say I understand. I get it. I get it. Yeah. What? What what about you, Crimson? What's your closing thoughts? Kind of slightly similar to yours with just a few other things. Like for me, it's as long as you guys maintain a healthy body, healthy and not the standards of quote UN quote healthy that social media puts out there or whatever we're talking about, you know, keep your blood pressure good, sugar levels good, you know, overall general health maintenance needs to be good.

That is over anything else. And I understand that might be hard for some people over anything else. That is the utmost priority because I'll even state this, there are people who look amazing and shredded and they have so many health issues because of it. It's you can be extremely, extremely shredded and be just completely internally trashed by Beyond like prepare tooth for some people. So primary thing for me and my closing thought on this, just make sure you're healthy. That's it, Yeah. Healthy, happy, and just if you ever feel that you need to talk to somebody because you're going through something or you need some advice, please feel free to reach out on any of our pieces of social media.

We're always here to talk, compare stories, listen to yours. We want to hear it. So on that note, we're going to go be happy, be healthy, and catch you on the next episode of The Phoenix Gate. OK, thanks. Bye bye. Bye.

The Feinics Gate Podcast - Issue 170 - Diet Culture Has Entered the Chat

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