The Feinics Gate Podcast - Issue 164 - Our TBR is Judging Us

Ladies, now it's Showtime. Let's show them we can. Rise from the ash, Jane. Lavender and starlet. Phoenix power, so can the. River rise. They tried to. Bang us with one like a flower they didn't know we had a phoenix's power Phoenix.

'S power. What's up, everybody? It's your girl, Jade Phoenix. I am back. I am here. We have done amazing and wonderful things since the last time we have all been together. If you're listening to this, I am not alone. I our our boy. Our our boy. Crimson is still on a vacation. It's fine. He's good. He'll be back. We. Love relaxing? We support relaxing and resting. R&R is very important for all of our mental health. And honestly, if you can't tell. It all started when I was. Born Lavender's here.

Oh my God, me crazy. I could have never guessed this is. So exciting. I know, I know. I mean, like we, we're, we've had so many good episodes since like the last time it was just you and me. I mean, we talked about the Oscars together and then like, we had that big. Chaos we. Had the big chaotic episode of slang. I love, I'm not going to lie, I totally love that episode and I hope everyone loves it as much as we loved it because I feel like it was such a spontaneous, like we totally had a different topic in mind and it just happened and I kind of love it.

That's just how we do things here at the gate. Exactly. Sometimes we need to shoot from the hip. What's great? Fabulous. What's great about this episode is it falls. It is our first episode of April #1 number 20. Hell yes it is. We opened a *.

Oh fuck yeah we did. Like so, so exciting. We did. We did it. We have opened up a physical shop in the Broadway Mall, so you guys need to come and check us out. We are at 460 Broadway Mall in Hicksville, NY 11801 and we're open seven days a week from 11:00 AM until 8:00 PM. We got so many things happening in there. It's not just the Phoenix Gate. There's so many other great and wonderful vendors out there that are in this shop. Prime 151. Big shout out to them because they're our biggest help and they're the ones that actually told us about this and got us in.

So big shout out to Jonathan of One Prime 151 and who we actually got to work with last year at Tropicana and it was their first convention ever. Yes, he was our booth mate and we adore him very, very much. We do, we do. But this is super exciting because our official grand opening was on April 1st and everybody thought that we were joking and absolutely not. We are not joking. The grand opening. We are actually there. They are actually there. I mean if. You. If you're following us on all the social medias, you probably saw the the post that I put up on the 25th of the shop being open.

The shop has been open since the 20, since the 25th officially, but we are doing we did our grand opening on April 1st to just fuck with everybody because that's the chaos of the Phoenix gate there's. Always something new happening, which is why you guys should always stay tuned because we'll always have fun things to share fun ideas, but especially seeing us grow. It's all because of you guys. So truly thank you for all the support and we're so excited to sitting somewhere I'm a. Half mast, I need to hear this.

It's true, it's true. I'm so excited to bring you guys, like if you guys have ever caught happened to catch us at one of our moonlight markets or Tropicon or undiscovered Realm, which is where we'll be at the Chill Out Expo, which is where I am at right now as you are listening to this Phoenix Nation, come see me, I'm in New Jersey. I'm at the Meadowlands. The chill out expo's got so many great guests. You're going to hear see so many things from the Phoenix gate for from this convention. Plus we have a booth.

So you need to come and see us If you're listening to this right now. We are they they were, we were there yesterday on Thursday. We're here today on Friday and we'll be there today on Saturday and obviously not Sunday because it's Easter.

Good. Really guys like This is why we are constantly moving, so you guys can come see us and kind of experience the Phoenix Gate yourselves. What makes it even better is now not only do you get to experience us at these conventions, but now you know our home base. There's a solid nest. Exactly, there is a solid nest that you can come to. You're looking for a candle if you're trying to look into tarot reading, Anything you can think of that your heart can desire, you can now find in one single nest.

Yeah, it's true. I think is really fucking. Cool. It's true. I'm doing tarot readings, room readings. I'm going to have multiple people coming and subbing at the booth that will be standing in our friend Lux Hell, your daughter is going to be there slinging maroons. We have Madame Mazakine who's going to be coming to do tarot. Like we're going to be hosting possibly a couple of really cool nights, which I'm not going to talk about yet because I'm still working on it. We have candles, we have cups, we have jewelry, key chains, like, oh God, stickers, necklaces, earrings, Oh my God.

There's just so much stuff. Everything that you can find that we sell on our website, everything that you can see that like and a few goodies that we don't because those are in store exclusives on top of we also, you know anytime we go to a convention, you guys will see us with the different wares. Now you can come to one spot and you can even actually, because I have this spot now you can hit me up for custom work. Yes 100%. I mean personally I would suggest the candles for customs but I'm a little biased because I am a candle bitch.

That's true, but I can help it. I've got like 6 or 12 literally out on my coffee table at any given moment. It's true, and that doesn't include the pile that are in my closet exactly, including the wax melts. If you guys need great wax melts, definitely make sure that you check it out at the store. Yeah. I mean, I've always been offering custom work, but it's a lot harder to do when you didn't. When I was like always so busy running around and I didn't really have a home. Now I have a home. We have a home base.

It's again 460 Broadway, Mall, Hicksville. That is Long Island people. All right, New York. On the island, on the island that was so cap. So Cap, Oh my God.

So Hicksville, NY 11801. We are in the old Disney Store across from the video game spot. Trust me, the Broadway Mall is not dead. It's not dead, it's still open. There are still things open there. Round One is still there, IKEA is still there, Target is still there, The movie theater is still there, Hot Topic is still there. The video game place is fucking fantastic across from us, Victoria's Secret. There's so many places that are still open in this mall. Come bother us. Still running.

And look, especially if you guys, because we see you guys on social media, you see folks talking about, hey, like mall culture is dead. There's no more mall. Well, here, now you're hearing it here, we can go to the Broadway Mall. There's a million things to check out, but most importantly, Phoenix Gate and our friends will be there. That's true. I mean, honestly, like if you don't want the witchy woo woo shit that I sell, my boy Jonathan has comic books, toys, cards, one piece. He's got one piece.

He's got Magic, he's got trading cards, he's got sports cards. He's got them all bitches all right? And if you don't like what he's got, there are so many other vendors in there that have so many other things between comic books and pops and toys and autographs and just it is a nerdghasm in a store you want to go to. You can't go to a convention. You can come to my store. It's like a 24 hour convention. Exactly. There you go. You done goofed. Yeah, just be prepared. Be prepared. And even if I'm not there, even if I'm not there physically, you can still buy my wares because you just bring it up to the front desk and they'll ring you up.

Exactly. And you can even schedule a. Reading with me. You can still schedule a reading with me if I'm not there and I will come and I will do the reading in person. Or we can do it over the computer. How or Google Meets doesn't matter, you in person is always better if you ask me because then I can give you a lot more. How would you say this Lav? It's a lot more intimate. Yes. I think intimate is definitely the word and especially with tarot readings, you want to be able to have that intimacy to be able to truly delve into to the cards because I feel like when you because look, I work from home nearly exclusively and you know, that's just doing marketing.

But some and I even had to go into the office this week to be there tangibly for a physical event. And nothing really replaces that intimate touch, especially for something as one-on-one as tarot. I feel like personally, if I were y'all, I would schedule go back in person. You'll really get more from your reading and you'll really get to experience it fully. Yeah, because I've seen them at Moonlight. I've seen how people walk away from your readings and how it really has such a huge affect on them.

And that's what y'all want. You don't want like over Zoom computer. You're welcome, baby. I appreciate you. It's just true. Of course, I appreciate you too. I do I'm. Just so proud of you and so excited. And you know what the what makes me laugh is there are so many haters out there, so many haters. Oh my God, like so many haters out there that are that literally said that I couldn't do it, have literally tried to just destroy my my character, my my, my mind, my everything, my sanity, my health.

And you know what? This is a testament of me saying go fuck yourself. It is, and it's true karmic balance, Let's be honest, I wouldn't say. I wouldn't say it's karmic balance. I would say it's more I'm going to keep doing what I'm doing and I don't care how any of you fucking feel about it. Exactly. Like when I say balance, I mean, look, all those types of people, these things aren't happening for them. And there's a reason why, because they're putting negativity and bad energy into the universe.

And the more you put bad energy in, the more bad energy is really going to come back to you. It's true God. Maybe if you focus on putting positive things out and creating and truly bringing something into the world and and into those around you, you will succeed. And this is a testament to what that success can get you. Hard works, hard work pays off. It always does, even if it doesn't feel like it is. And I'll be honest, I do little things now where I say 1 little nice thing to myself every day and I can't begin to tell you guys how much better it makes me feel, how much weight comes off my shoulders.

So truly, focus on the positives and the positives will come. And if you're a hater, well, continue to have a sucky life. Bye. Hashtag stay mad. Stay mad. Stay mad. But Speaking of creating things. I love creating things. Laugh. Can we talk about something that you and I are completely and utterly obsessed with? Oh yes, I actually, because I had to go to the office, took a little detour that kind of matches with this episode. I. Knew it did you go I? Did go to a Barnes and Noble. I knew it did. You put.

In your pre-order. Around the corner, did you? Put in your pre-orders. Not yet. OK, the only reason I haven't done my pre-orders is because I'm pre ordering from my favorite independent bookshop. Q and Willa. Which is over here in Kew Gardens, NY, so it's the only reason I haven't. It's been tempting, but I did pick up two books. What did you get? I got one. I've been trying to collect all of the Avatar books in physical copies because I personally have done audio books and digital books for them on my Kindle.

OK. So because I am so invested in a Court of Silver Flames, it is definitely become my all time favorite of the series. I'm nearly done with it. I decided the first Night Court edition I needed was a Court of Silver Flames. So I bought that and it's freaking beautiful. And I can't wait to get the rest of them because I, I think they're gorgeous. I know some people are a little disappointed by the release because they're like, they're not that special. I'm like, look, I like them. I think they're beautiful.

And another one that I actually picked up and I've been dying to read it because I've been getting really into lit and translation, which essentially just means international books that have been translated into English. And there's a new, well, not this author came out with a new book that I also want to read. However, her first book is called Butter. And I'm, I hope I am not butchering her name. Her name is Asako Yizuki and she writes wonderful pieces of feminist literature, and this one in particular scratches every single one of my itches because it's about a woman journalist who actually decides that she is going to interview a female serial killer who is being accused of luring men in with her cooking and then killing them.

OK but can I have the recipe book queen? That's kind of what the book is about is that the no one can get an interview with this serial killer. And then this young woman reaches out to her and is like, can I have your recipe for beef Stew?

And now she's like the first person getting to interview and talk to her. And I've heard it's actually based on a real life con woman and serial killer from Japan. So I'm really excited to read it. And it was the perfect little Segway because it it's it's literally right next to the Yum train, which is my straight shot home. So it was like the nicest thing ever. I mean, hey. So so like. If you guys haven't figured out what we're talking about, we are talking about books and our goals for said books this year in today's.

Show. Oh yeah. So if you are not a bibliophile, then you probably should stop listening right now. But. Or if you're looking to understand why people love books so much, yeah, maybe this is the episode for you. That's true. We'll get some real hardcore insight from this one. Hey, that's a good. Point lab, I appreciate you for doing that because for you know, of course, a lot of people don't understand that like books have made, I want to say, a huge comeback. Like they're more so like I've always been an avid reader.

That's not this is this is not something that's like brand new for me. But this I'm noticing that like I was, and I was considered weird growing up because I was a reader. I enjoyed reading books and I would prefer to read a book to, you know, going out and playing, you know, I mean, I did that, but I would prefer to read my book 1st. And then there were times where I would get in trouble in class because I would be reading my book instead of doing instead of doing my work. I used to hide them under like the desk.

Do you remember those? Oh my God, with the big holes. You know what I mean? Like so, so obvious. So fucking obvious. Oh 100% and the worst was especially for English class, I would I would read the books way in advance and I would get in trouble for sitting there and reading a different book while we were reviewing a book that we were not have supposed to finish reading because we were only supposed to read 2 chapters at a time. And it used to drive me fucking insane. Oh my God, that's funny. That's so funny because I'm the same fucking way, dude.

I'm the same fucking way. Like I used to my, my parents would get called in during parent teacher conferences, right? And they would literally the teacher would be like, you have to tell her she needs to stop reading during class and pay attention to her class work. And my parents would go, well, is her class work suffering because of it? And the teacher would be like, no. So then what's the problem? Well, she's not paying attention in the class. She needs to pay attention in the class. OK, but her class works.

Not suffering. No. But you want her to pay attention in class? Yes. Oh, OK. So I would get in trouble. And. Yeah, you see. What's funny is like I didn't necessarily get like my parents got like being told that I was reading too much, which is interesting because I over read. I used to get things like I was reading too much, as in I was making the other kids feel bad. What?

I didn't have also, I didn't have that. Totally preface, I went to a really shitty Catholic school. Oh, I didn't. I went to wait. I was treated by like shit by like all of my classmates, which was part of the reason I read so much. No, I went to. Public, but also they were very like, oh, you know, I hate to say it, I don't mean it in this way, but it was like the one thing I really excelled in. And like, I would get really excited about writing and stuff, and they would actually try to discourage that from Nate.

Like, one of the big things, and I'll never forget it, is when I was a kid, I really wanted to read the Golden Compass books because I had wanted to see the movie, which ended up sucking. But that's besides the point really badly. And I remember, like, teachers having conversations with my parents and telling them, oh, well, she's not allowed to read it because it's banned by the Catholic Church. What? And my mom was like, well, too bad because I'm in charge of what she reads. And but to speak on that, I did also have a lot of teachers who did support my reading where there were ones that didn't mainly like principal and administration.

The actual individual teachers usually did cheer me on like one of which being my first grade teacher. Because if folks can believe it, it took me, I really struggled with learning how to read in kindergarten. And now that I'm older and I understand that like, oh, I'm neurodivergent. I had issues with focus. I had issues with other things that as a lot of us know, being women who were leader diagnosed with neurodivergency, is they don't really spot that in girls, especially in school. No, they definitely.

Don't. So I needed something to engage me to get me to read, and my teachers didn't understand that until first grade. And I had this wonderful teacher. I'm going to shout her out right now, Miss Bocheri, who saw that I was struggling and went out of her way to make sure that I was able to read that. Not only that level, proficiency, proficiency, proficiency, but by the time I was in the second grade, I was reading 5th grade level books. Nice. So she used to give me extra homework, which sucked then she used to, but you know, it really helped.

She gave me a lot of individual attention and she really fostered one of my greatest loves. So I will say that while Catholic schools are kind of the worst in administration, especially at Catholic schools, are the worst. Some of these individual teachers are like the greatest diamonds in the rough, Miss Bucheri being one of them. Because otherwise I wouldn't have spent like 20 minutes before we got together to record talking with my best friend about A Court of Thorns and Roses. It's true. We were talking about it all fair.

It's very, very true. We were because I'm the reason why she even like got into this series because I was like, OK, you, you, you read, you read iron flame. You're you're all caught up with everything. OK, cool read. This now exactly. And what's so funny about that is like, because I kind of fell off of what was popular now. Yes. Because I before my current job and before I decided like, you know what, even if it's I only read for like an hour, I need to make it part of my routine because it makes me feel a lot better and more enriched.

I just was had no time for anything because I was working under like essentially mini Hitler, for lack of a better term. Like for real? He was the worst. So I never really had time for anything. So I didn't really know any of these series as they were coming out because I was so behind on the trends and the things I were I was reading were like old, like comfort favorites. Yeah, because I had. So you kept. Rereading the same things over and over again. Exactly. So it was so great to finally be exposed to a lot of these new series, and now I'm much more plugged in.

But thank God, besides the fact that you told me to read A Court of Thrones and Roses, thank God you didn't let me give up after book 1. Yeah, I told you I was like, no, get, just just come on, You can do it. You can do it. And you were just me, forever. You. Were just like, you did not want to hear it. You were like, no, Nah, I'm good. Like no. And then once I got there, it was like, oh, OK, I totally understand why this first book had to be the way this first book had to be. Because for me anyway, I could not get into it until the very end of that book, until Favorite was doing the trials.

I could not get invested. I couldn't really get invested in her character. I couldn't really get invested in a tampon. I won't call him anything else. And Sarah J Maas basically gave us all permission in the Call Her Daddy podcast, so no one can tell me otherwise. Like Nope. But it's really fostered so much love of reading for me to the point that actually actually this episode's coming out beginning of April. So I can tell everybody I am getting my second tattoo and much like last year I'm getting it done right before my birthday as my birthday present to myself.

This is awesome because this is like my first time also getting to share it with my best friend because I just booked it. This is true. This is. I'm hearing it in real time with the rest of the Phoenix nation. To get a tattoo that's actually dedicated to A Court of Thorns and Roses, because it did so much for me, because Jade knows better than anyone. I started reading it when we had a lot of shit going down with people who were very unkind, people who said they were our friends but really weren't our friends.

And that was really destabilizing for all of us at the gate. It was. And to have that book and feel so seen by a book and especially reading Silver Flames, feeling so heard by these characters, I was like, this got me through a time I didn't think I was going to be able to get. Through that's actually true. And I'm so excited to have it ain't it's I'm getting it done April 24th at 12:30 PM I'm. So excited. Which is hilarious because my artist actually informed me of it. My first tattoo I actually got done on April 24th at 12:30 PM last year.

Look at you. Staying consistent. Only my neurodivergent ask could do that. Without realizing that you did it. Exactly, but if y'all needed to know just how important books are in our lives, that is a great example Little. Bit, little bit. I mean, honestly, we are talking about books, but we're also talking about book goals now. Oh. Yes. My goal honestly, and I've been slowly making it to the, you know, because I love the app good Reads, simply for the fact that it allows you to not only track the books that you want to read, it allows you to keep a lock on what you are reading and help share, you know, keeps, you know, you could share your progress and then you can even write a full review and give the book a review after you're done.

And also you can, you know, see what your friends are reading. And, and it's great because it helps me keep track with my April fucking goals are I have to finish at minimum two of my physical books because I already finished three of my audiobooks. Thank you. You're welcome. But I'm one of the big things is for me, I will, like I said, neurodivergent. I'll get distracted. I'll start one book and then I'll get distracted with another book and I'll start that book. So Good Reads is great because it helps me keep track of where I was in case, God forbid my bookmark falls out or anything like that.

I am like, oh, OK, this is where I was. So I like that. I like that a lot and it helps also because you can win things you could do. They have, you know for a fact lab. They have like giveaways and shit, right? Yeah, and they do little challenges. I love the challenges. I honestly think that's a great way to help motivate. I've come to learn that just even in my daily life, having a little gamified checklist of things help me maintain, whether they be personal goals for keeping the house tidy or going to the gym, like having that gamified aspect, especially with reading.

And it's so perfect for reading with Goodreads because all the giveaways are related to books. Yep, not a single one is not related to books. So it's so exciting to be like, OK, if I like read all these books, I can have another book and another book can be right here at my doorstep and I can read, read that book. And it becomes this very exciting exchange and I just love it. I do too because it also helps me like see what? Because again, I'm like you, Lev, I am not always up to date on a lot of what's going on in the world.

Even though I run, even though we do this podcast and we have to stay up to date on pop culture, book culture gets away from me. It's so hard. It is so hard for me to keep up because there are so many people that I'm trying to keep track of and then I get overwhelmed so I stop. That is very fair because I will say this, while I'm really not on TikTok, I do appreciate book talk. I send you so much shit. Because genuinely, it really helps keep me up to date. And because we know each other so well, you're also like we're able to give each other suggestions that actually match up with what we enjoy reading.

Because trust me, there's plenty of stuff on Book Talk that I'm like, it's not for me. It's OK that other people loved it, but it ain't for me. Looking at you, Hoover. Oh my gosh, I can't even get started on Hoover. I'm not even going to try because it'll only be a not so nice words from here on out, but I. Mean can I make her one of my? Gloves. To burn all of her. Books. Honestly, I would not disagree. I would actually support you. Well, no, we don't want to get into book burnings. Maybe we do shred it.

No. How do we recycle? Recycle. Oh, if we find a way to recycle if. We shred the book. If we shred the book, we can turn it into. Mulch. Oh yes, give it back to the earth. Yes, I think that's what we should do. I think that should be our bookish girly goal for the year. Yeah, I'm going to make that my goal. Any copy we find I'm. Going to make that a goal I. Don't give a shit, let's do it. Hey, we could sell the mulch in little jars. Oh, I can make it into something like. A. Store, I could totally put that in the store.

I'll make you know what I'm going to look at it. I'm going to look into it. Look. Look at that for rainstorming. Kind of like how for Valentine's Day they let you name like a bug to be fed to like an animal. We should do that with people's least favorite authors and turn it into mulch. So how about this Phoenix Nation? Why don't you, if you're a reader, why don't you reach out to us and let us know what books you love and what you absolutely hate and despise? And this is within reason. Human beings, OK?

We're not sitting here to go on a witch hunt or anything like that simply because, you know, they may not agree with your religion, but, you know, you could tell us stuff. We're not going to say no. Exactly. Just, like, let us know. And like, bonus points if you can tell us why you dislike that author. Because I always like to hear people's takes on things. Yeah. Even if I don't agree with them. Yeah. Also at the same time, like you can literally sit there and tell us that you can't stand a cord of thorns and roses.

I mean, you're wrong, but it's fine. Exactly. Everybody has a different opinion. Like I'll even say one of the nicest things is kind of talking about foot goals. I actually am a part of a all women's book club in Manhattan. I love this month to month. I love it. It was something that I started doing, admittedly, because I cried to my brother on the phone after one of my breakups and was like, Oh my God, what am I going to do? And my brother just went join a book club you like to read. And I went, where will I find one?

And my brother was just like, dude, fucking Google exists. Google and I Google that slab and. I Googled it and it turns out for any of our fellow bibliophiles here, there is actually an app called Book Clubs where you can sign up for the app and it'll connect. You can, Yeah. And you can put in conditions. I wanted it to be in person personally because I was like, I need it to be an activity where I get out of my house because I work slowly remote. And but there's also virtual ones, there's hybrid ones.

And you put in all these conditions. Like for me, I was like, oh, I want it to be only women. I want it to be women who are within my age group, like 20 plus. I want it to be where I'm out and about my location. You can even narrow it by types of books. And it's so well thought out. And it ended up connecting me to this group of girls that I just absolutely adore hanging out with. We're, we're actually reading Wuthering Heights right now for the month of April and we're going to be doing a movie night where we're going to watch the new adaption of Wuthering Heights.

But on that point, it gives me a lot of perspective on even books I really disliked and getting to hear everybody else's thoughts, feelings, opinions, It's really made me appreciate books that maybe I read. And I was like, wow, I fucking hated this book. But then enjoying hearing why other people enjoyed it makes me rethink what about why I hated a book and it makes it so interesting for me. Like for example, this one's pretty big on book talk, but we read Broken Country by Claire Leslie Hall and I. Never read that one I'm.

Going to be straight up I hated it. It wasn't for me, it wasn't made for me. And that's OK. It doesn't mean she's a bad writer. She's actually pretty fantastic because I was still able to read it even though I hate the book. That's fair. But I hated it. I had really strong opinions about it and I loved that I could go into book club for our monthly meeting, not only share my opinions of why I didn't like it, but then get because we're all pretty supportive on that. And when it comes to whether you like the book, as long as you're respectful, we don't really care what your opinion is about the book, right?

But getting to just hear like someone who really liked it saying, hey, this was something I really liked about it. It made me pause and I was like, oh, maybe I should revisit it and view it from this lens instead. So I'm actually going to reread it when I have some extra time on my hands, which I never thought I was going to do after I read it. That's fair. And to really view it from this really interesting angle that one of the girls brought up during our meeting, because I was thinking of it so solely from 1 angle because of one of the themes in the book.

OK. So it was hard for me, for my nerve, spicy brain, to break away from that justice idea. Because you and your. You and your. Justice. Because one of the tropes in it is like the cheating trope and I feel very strongly about it. You do. So I could not get behind this book, but hearing someone say actually I I viewed it from the lens more so of the her trauma that related to the actions of the book. And I was like, OK, because I was so focused on that trope that I almost missed those pieces of the author's writing.

That happens. And now I'm revisiting it because I'm going to view it more from this lens that someone at book club suggested to me. And I think that's what's also great about apps like Goodreads is you see other people's opinions. And I actually don't think that takes away from a book. I really think it helps reform my ideas of books and how I take them in and view them and read them from people's perspectives and experiences that I may know 0% about. That's actually a really good point. There are many times where I've been forced to read a book that I didn't want to.

There are many times where I'm just like, I don't, I don't, I don't like this book. I don't want to deal with this book. I can't get through it, but I'll like force myself to get through it. It happened a lot when I was in school. And, you know, I would encourage, I was always encouraged to, you know, keep trying, it's not that bad, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. Right? Fine, OK, but it's so good to have the ability to talk to somebody like you prime example with a court of thorn and roses where you were just like jade.

I don't know if I'm going to be able to make through make it through and and I would be like, okay, well, let's talk about it. What is what's tripping you up? This, that and a third. And I like the fact that book clubs, which, you know, you're able to talk to people, you're able to have those conversations, you're able to have those difference of opinions now, which I. Think is so. Much where a lot of people are like afraid to have them nowadays. Yeah, because there's this very, and this is where almost the bad side of book talk, right, as a huge reader is you get pressured from.

And I'm not saying that creators do this on purpose. I do think it's kind of similar to any other fandom, right? Like the great Star Wars versus Star Trek debate, which I personally think is dumb because I think they're both so different. How do you even compare them? But maybe a literary version, the literary version would be like, while we don't condone this author, Harry Potter versus Twilight when I was young used to be a big thing. And I was like, for me, I was like, one that doesn't make any fucking sense because these books literally have nothing to do with each other.

I could imagine Twilight versus Vampire Diaries, but I think it's because at the time those were two of the biggest book to movie series. So they were like insanely popular when I was a neighbor. So I think what happens is these fandoms sometimes get supercharged on TikTok to a point where like people will hate on you for not liking a book, which I think is crazy. It's like, don't yuck somebody else's Yum, but also don't hate on somebody else's yuck. Within reason, right? Because then the other big thing that they do is they they're gatekeeping.

They they, they people who gatekeep books who gatekeep series. The fuck is wrong with you? I'm sorry, you did you write that book? No, you, your fan fiction is one thing. Cool, you can gatekeep that until the day is done. But like you didn't write the book. Shut the fuck up. Like. Let people enjoy things. How? Dare you yes, let people enjoy them and let people enjoy different aspects about them, especially these romanticy series. I wish I could remember this creator's name, but there's actually a wonderful creator and I don't agree with all of her opinions.

Like she's very vocal about the fact that she dislikes one of my favorite series, which is but she's which is the 4th wing series, the Imperian series all. Right, I can. All right, I can understand why some people would hate it. But again, this is where I'm going to explain to you why you are wrong. Exactly like she, but she's not like rude about it. She's very like oh I really disliked the Empyrean series. But if you like me and disliked it, here's some books with the same ideas that you may like better.

And I love that frame of lens. Like, just because you don't like something doesn't mean you need to tell everybody why it needs to be hated. Like she turns it into something positive by saying, hey, here's some other dragon writer romanticies that I liked instead. I'm like, oh hey, like that's such a breath of fresh air. That really is because seriously, there are so many times where I'll be like, oh, I just hate this fucking book. But why did you hate this fucking book? I just hated it. OK, but why did you hate it?

I hated it. OK cool, you hated it, that's great. But do you have any idea on anything else that maybe I could read instead? And a lot of people can't suggest that. Like prime example, if you had told me that you didn't like the Empyrean series, I would have suggested something else for you. Exactly. You know, if you had told me you didn't like a court of Thorn and Rosens, I would have said OK, why don't you try her other series which is the the the Glass Throne series. Yes, that is next on my list as soon as I finish Silver Flames.

I actually just bought the first book in that series on my Kindle. So like I would have said, OK, maybe if you don't like this one, then try that one. You know, I'm not going to be where you have to fucking read it because you have to fucking read it. Like, no, if you don't want to read this, if this is not something you want to read, why am I going to force you to do that? Exactly, and I think. So much trauma with people forcing me to read books. That I don't want to read there. I think that's like the one, like as much as I think book talk has actually been really positive for getting more people who may not have thought they'd be into reading into reading, I will agree that unfortunately, book talk kind of fosters the opposite as well.

Like that. Oh, you need to like this or you need to hate this or like you just said, like that. Oh, like that almost like forcing like the FOMO, like you have to read this or or you'll be behind on everything like that's. Like, listen, I mean, if I'm going to be behind on something then I'd rather it be a book than current events. That is also true. You know, like I, if I'm going to be behind on something, it's fine as long as it's not going to, you know, cause massive harm. Not reading a book series is not going to hurt me.

I mean, it may hurt my imagination, but it's not going to hurt me. Exactly like reading, in my opinion is not only for knowledge, but for like the joy of reading. I've something I've really gotten into since getting a Kindle, I would say because I have Kindle Unlimited. You are obsessed is now Oh, I'm obsessed with it, but it's given me the ability to just read things that I wouldn't have ever picked up because either they were backlogged at the library so I couldn't get access to it. We love libraries in this house.

We do. Or because I was like, oh, I don't have enough room in my apartment. Like what if I don't like it? Like romance type stuff. I've gotten so into romances and I never was. No, you were not. You were. Not you were when I first started talking to you and 1st hanging out with you hardcore and before like you know, we were just becoming best friends. You. I noticed that on your shelves it was all like biographies, autobiographies, feminist literature, realism, not really a lot of super fiction, and definitely not romanticy style shit.

Yeah. And it was something that like, I almost didn't get into reading it because I was like, Oh, well, I don't have the space. Yeah. He was almost less of I dislike it. It was more of, oh, I don't have the space and I have so little room and if I can't get at the library, then I can't read it. And then having Kindle where everything is at my fingertips. I'm just trying new things like I'm reading sports romances which is would have never been on my radar and I really enjoy them. Or dark romance, never thought I would love those.

And now I'm like a fucking slut for HD Carlton.

Anything that bitch writes I want. Take that depression Satan's affair so freaking fast. Nice. And I'm halfway through hunting Adeline, so honestly I would have never looked at it otherwise because I would have been so selective of oh, I don't have enough room and what if I don't like it? Like it's really opened up a lot for me to just read for fun, which is so fucking nice man. I love it honestly. Like so my TBR pile is taller than me then I am not. I am not short SO. My, you're not. No, and and the fact that I have a TBR pile that literally is taller than I am if you stack them all like on top of each other.

Right now I'm sitting in the in my nest. I'm looking at my TBR pile. There are two of them. Two of them in my room. That one is 1. 2. 3 piles deep and the other is 2. So I have 5 mini files of books that is not also counting at what I've stuffed my kindle with and what is in my audible right now waiting to be read. They are heavenly to behold. Though say what? They are heavenly to behold, these big giant files. They really are, but it they also cause me such severe anxiety because I'm sitting here and I'm going, Oh my God, I'm not reading up to my potential.

That is super valid actually, because with actually setting my reading goal this year, I was so upset with myself that I didn't make the number that I wanted to last year. Same. So what I. Did this year was I actually cut it in half? OK. So my intention was, look, I do think I'll read more than that, but then I'm not feeling extremely pressured that I haven't reached that larger goal. And then I'll just steadily add on to it as I get used to my new reading pace with book Club, with the Kindle, with getting back into all my new favorite series, especially with the next two Acatar books coming out.

Yeah, I. Already pre-ordered those. It's like one of those things that it was actually such a relief to cut it in half because originally, just to be transparent, I wanted to read 50 books in a year. Last year, Nice, I got close. You did. I got halfway there, but I didn't make it and it made me feel really sad. And when I stepped away to put together my reading goals this year, I was like, you know, I don't want to feel sad. I really did a great job of really reading and putting something I loved back into my life and it really improved my mental health.

I don't want to feel disappointed in myself. No, I don't. So what I did was I cut it in half to what I actually made last year, which was 25. OK. And I was like, you know, I know I can read this money. So then I feel that I feel less likely that I won't make it. Yeah. But then I can have a stretch goal of 50, right? But you know what I mean? So I can achieve it but still keep working at it. Right. And then you, we don't have to sit there and feel bad about not reaching a goal. Exactly, because sometimes, while goal setting is really great, I think people forget sometimes that it can be really upsetting when you don't make a goal and you can really get yourself up about it, even if it's just how many books you can read in a year.

Listen, listen, listen. I have so many goals and I get very upset and disheartened and frustrated with myself when I don't reach them. And that is literally because of, you know, childhood trauma and bullshit and whatever else that you want to throw on the BBQ there. But, you know, it's like, oh, well, if you don't do this, then you're not good enough kind of a thing. And that's the thing. Like that's what also is I think is was so discouraging to a lot of people about reading is they were like, well, if you're not good at reading, you know what?

I do you understand what I'm saying? Like if you're not good at. Reading, I fully understand what you're saying I truly do because I mean not even talking about how I really struggled in those early days of learning how to read. It's also people put an idea in your head that reading and look, I'll admit it, I am. I was in English Literature and Communications, double major. A lot of the books that I like are really academic by nature. That's true. Just it's just the reality of it, but I'm not going to sit there and judge someone because they don't want to read fucking Ulysses.

OK, I love James Jones, but I'm not going to shut. And I feel like unfortunately, our education system has made people believe that if they don't read something that's of a certain standard, then they're not quote UN quote, good readers. And I think that's one of the worst things that the education system truly taught us. And part of the reasoning, besides I was struggling to learn how to read at an early age was if it wasn't something that interested me, I couldn't, I couldn't focus on it. So one of the things that I really loved was I was really friendly with my librarian at my Catholic school and she would suggest books to me all the time and she would base it off of things I really enjoyed.

Like one of the books that really helped me read above my age level for a good example was A Series of Unfortunate Events. And those are not quote UN quote. Good reading to most. People to most. People. But that doesn't mean it's not worth reading and not worth being something to be being something that someone can be excited about. No, it's absolutely true. Like there's so many books that I've read that people like. Why have you read that? That's trash. Well, I like that trash. Exactly. OK. Like I enjoy that.

Trash. I enjoy that trash. You let me have my trash. Let me be a trash problem please. It's hurting no one. It hurts. No one, unless it's like, but then again, we could talk about like how there are so many detrimental books out there, but we're technically supposed to be talking about goals in our book. That could be a whole other podcast. But we're talking about goals in our book journey and stuff like that. And frankly, to me, I kind of feel like setting a proper, how do you say not proper? That's not the right word.

I want to say setting a realistic, realistic goal. You know, when it comes to reading a book, hey, listen, if you can't read at a certain level, then you can't read at a certain level. That's OK. It is what it. Is it is what it is. There's not who's going to sit there and say who's going to tell you, oh, you're a bad person because you can't read a book? Listen, listen, Crimson, the one of the other reasons why he is not on this podcast today, because he don't freaking read. He's not a reader. We.

Still love him, we. No, he's not a reader. And again, it's no, there's no shame in the game. No, absolutely no shame in the game for that. The man doesn't just he just doesn't read. And when he does read it, he's very particular about the things that he does read. And again, that is a OK, we support that. If you can only read comic books, then you can only read comic books. Like who am I to sit there and tell you anything? And Oh my God, you don't even understand how sometimes people will piss me off by sitting there and saying, oh, but why are you reading that?

Why? Why should I read that exactly like? Give it a try. So crazy because if what you can read like graphic novels, comic books that is reading. I hate people that try to sit there and discourage people from enjoying reading in varied formats. Thank you. Like for example, I used to never listen to audiobooks and it really had nothing to do with that. I didn't enjoy audiobooks. But let's be real, I grew up within a certain educational system. We all did, where we were kind of told, oh, audiobooks aren't real reading.

Yep. And we're told like they don't count. And honestly, audiobooks has actually been one of the greatest drivers of what's helped me sustain really continuing to enjoy to read as an adult because look, we all busy, OK, We got jobs, we have duties to ourselves, chores to run. I got to store and one of the great. Exactly. And one of the greatest parts of my day is being able to because granted, I work from home, so it's a little different and I have a very analytical job. So this might not be the way that someone else may enjoy an audio book.

But for me, getting to listen to my audio book while I'm building reports or building sync automations within CRMS and coding, being able to listen to an audio book really like it makes my whole day. And I still get to read implemented into my everyday life when I may not have the time. That's true to sit down and flip through a physical book and it makes me feel great. Exactly. So what are your closing thoughts on your book goals for this year? I think on my closing thoughts, I'm really proud of myself.

As of now, I will have read at least 10 books, so I'm almost there to 25. Oh. Look at you and it's only April. And it makes me feel really proud of myself that I set a goal that's attainable and that I can keep building on. And I would say in closing, don't let other people dictate how you read, when you read, and what you read, because as soon as you start doing that, you're never going to love reading in general. But you're doing a disservice to yourself if your version of reading as a full grown human is hey I want to read RL Stein, read RL Stein.

Yeah. Don't hold some asshat tell you that you shouldn't be reading RL Stein are. You kidding me? He's the nicest human being. Exactly. Read the smutty book you want to read. Seriously, don't, don't judge me. There's so many times that are Crimson and I'll be talking on the phone and he'll be like, are you listening to your porn again? Yes, let me live. Yes. No, for real, I'll be in bed with my partner and admittedly he has looked over my shoulder while I am reading one of my dark romance books.

And you'll go, wait a minute, is she being gangbanged?

And I'll be like. No. And he just goes good for you babe, good for you and says nothing else. That's the energy I want all of you to have in your lives about whatever thing you want to read. I'm done. Whether it be smart? I'm so done. With or cash. Just read what you want to read and enjoy it while you're doing it. Basically, so my, my closing thoughts on this are going to be honestly as a, as an, a reader and someone that encourages people to read and I'll even give you suggestions. There's one of the things that we've been doing on the Phoenix Gate podcast now for quite a few for I would say last like 3 or 4 years is we always do Big Apple bookworms in September.

We have no problem introducing for the rest of the year, book of the month suggestion and it'll be a suggestion, one from me and one from Lavender, whether it's her book club, my just personal choice or something that I picked up from a convention from an independent author. Yo check it out on all of our social media and also follow us on all the social media so that you can get some, so you can get some exclusive looks at things that we do, IE our interviews that will be going up on YouTube and all other platforms.

But on that note, Lav, I love the fact that you and I can always talk about something fun. Just you and me. Me. Too. And I can't wait for you guys to hear what we bring you in April. Crimson will be back for the next 1, so stay tuned. And on that note, say bye bye. Which is blood in my face. Darkness can hold me, change Phoenix, or never.

The Feinics Gate Podcast - Issue 164 - Our TBR is Judging Us

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