The Feinics Gate Podcast - Issue 158 - Digital Brainrot & Other Love Stories

0:06 Now it's Showtime. Let's show them we can rise from Ash, Jane, Lavender and Scarlet Phoenix Power so can't. Go where we. Rise. They tried to bind us with one like a flower.

0:26 They didn't know we had a phoenix 's power. Phoenix Power. What's up everybody? It's your girl Jade Phoenix. We're back. How was everybody's Valentine's Day out there in the Phoenix Nation? And if you didn't have a Valentine's Day, how did you enjoy Singles Awareness Day? Or hell, maybe you had a Galentine's Day. I hope you enjoyed our last episode and we're back. And honestly, we are going a little bit ham with this one because it's going to be touching on a few subjects that like kind of hit a little bit close to home because it benefits us, but at the same time we don't want you to do it but in that.

1:07 The double edged sword. Really it is, but on that note, since you hear that beautiful dulcet tones, it's our lavender. It all started when I was born. Hello. Hello, everyone. I know. Where the hell have I been, Jacob? It was a great weekend. I'm so happy that we got to share some fun Valentine's Day lore with you all last week. And. Get ready to dive in to some crazy crazy. I won't even say crazy shit, but the reality of living in in an Internet forward world this week. But also, I'm actually in a different nest.

1:53 I'm in the Griffin's nest this week. Are are lavenders out there in the ether? But I'm actually sitting in the Griffin's nest for once. And that's, you know, where we're going to introduce Crimson. How's it going, everyone? Thank you for having me in your nest. Of course. This is this is an experimentation because honestly, the Phoenix Nest is the home base, but sometimes we have Internet problems. By sometimes I mean all the time. So yeah, the bandwidth likes to, you know, tease us when we're trying to get work done.

2:30 It's not good. It's not good, not good. And then one of us ends up suffering, and usually it is Crimson because he's all the way down here in the Griffin's nest in Jersey. Yeah, Boo. Well, actually I shouldn't say Boo. We actually had a really good time with you in the Griffin's Nest this past weekend as. Well, or at least the the territory, the Griffin's territory, the. Territory of the Griffin's Nest. You had a good time. We we actually, I would love to talk about our Valentine's Day weekend real quick to do it.

3:00 Just a quick recap. Oh. Absolutely. So for Valentine's Day proper,

3:10 what did everybody do? Because I could tell you the Horror Story that happened to me if y'all like. I mean, I'm always down for a Horror Story. So I mean considering. Primum with some Spooks first. Well, considering the fact that we literally did talk about the darker side of Valentine's Day and its lore, it kind of seems like it was a little fitting that I had a nightmare. Yeah, it's true. Get over. Here, it was not a good time for me. Diginan decided to, you know, Take Me Out to dinner and, you know, tried his best.

3:46 Let's, let's not get this fucking twisted. Diginan did the best that he could, but the place, but the place that he took us was just. That's rough, buddy. It was not good. It was not good. First off, we had a 7:00 reservation and we got seated fairly quickly. You know, we walked in and we were taken right to our table. Awesome, cool. If server came right over, handed us the menus and, you know, asked us what we wanted to drink. All right, cool, fast service there. They had a prefix menu and they had a regular menu, and both of us had agreed to try the prefix menu because that's most likely what we would have gotten anyway.

4:32 And it was, you know, I'm sitting there and I'm like having hopes and stuff, 'cause he said that he did all sorts of research on this place and they had great reviews and blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. Right. Yeah, No, no. First off, the first indication that red flag that should have been flying was as soon as we went to order the prefix, they told us that they were already out of items on the prefix menu on Valentine's Day at 7 PMI. Was just going to ask you what time was that? 7:00 PM. Then they must have had a lot of people earlier in the day.

5:16 I don't know. I think so most. Likely. You know what's funny? I think I wouldn't be surprised that they had people coming in or, or correction, maybe this year people start planning their Valentine's Day a little earlier because they already know how busy it's going to get. Maybe, and also it was on a Saturday night so maybe they wanted to go and like just party all Saturday night. Exactly that too. That too, but it's 7:00 PM and you're already telling me that your prefix menu that you're already out of your one of your appetizers because they only offered two choices.

5:50 And then you're also telling me that you were also out of one of your other entree choices and there was only two. Wow. OK, yeah. So literally there's not there's there's just like either nothing or this. Yeah, that's crazy. Oh no, it gets worse. I can imagine. It gets worse. So they had originally offered a choice for their entree, either something that was called Bang Bang shrimp or baked clams. I wanted the baked clams. Can you guess which one they didn't have? Baked clams. Yeah, point for you, Crimson.

6:25 That's the worst cause baked clams is also a comfort food. I would have been really sad. I was, I was. And the reason the reason why I didn't want the shrimp is because it sounded spicy and I don't do spice. That's true. So. I remember making something for you like mildly spicy and you were just like. No, I was like, keep this away. From. Me, you kind of were just just just a little bit. No, just a little bit. Why don't? You sit there and tell me I am what I'm not. Just a wee. No. Just a weedle.

6:57 A weedle. Just a weedle. Just a. Weedle. Just a weedle. Little little Lee So we ended up getting 2 orders of the shrimp. I tasted it, hated it. Diginan can't have shellfish so he couldn't eat that appetizer at all. He. Couldn't even have. It then Nope, not what was he. Supposed. To exactly. Oh my God. OK. Exactly. So they turn around and they tell us for the second choice of the entrees we there was a choice of surf and turf, which was a piece of filet mignon and a lobster tail or a 22 ounce porterhouse steak.

7:41 Immediately tell us they have no more 22 ounce porterhouse steaks. Then. Why even like have? I just wait, wait, wait. They did offer instead a rib eye, which if you ask me, I think is an upgrade from a porterhouse because I find it's a better cut of meat. OK, so we're like, all right, that's acceptable. That's fine. Whatever. We place our orders. Now keep in mind, folks, we're at about 7/27/25, OK? And we're, we're, we're, you know, we're sitting there, we're enjoying, you know, having conversation.

8:17 The appetizers came out super fucking fast. But then tell us how we were sitting there until almost 9:00 at night and we still didn't get our food. Oh, and you said you got there at 7:00. We were there at 7:00. So two whole hours waiting and you didn't even get your entree? No, Oh, it gets worse. It gets so much worse. It gets so much fucking worse. People that came in after us, obviously ordered after us, had their food. Oh my God, I would have been losing my fucking shit. I was, I was starting to get like, I get very hangry.

8:53 It's like after a certain amount of time and I'm drinking because I'd ordered a a drink and I don't normally drink. And they were like, OK, well, we're kind of like really slammed in the kitchen right now. Here, have a free glass of wine. I'm drinking the wine on top of the vodka drink that I'm also drinking on an empty stomach. So I'm trying to pace myself now because I'm just like, OK, I'm just let me not because I, I know how I'm going to be, I'm going to get sick. So we ask, hey, what's going on with our food?

9:26 Fucking one guy comes up to us and tells us, oh, we had lost your order. What we lost your order. We didn't your order lose the order because there was a small brown out and they claim that it turned that it reset every single computer in the back and every everybody's order was lost. I go, how is that possible? If they still got their food, try again. Yeah, they're, they're a full of shit. Full of shit. So they finally rushed the food out to us. And here's where it's this is where it's just, it's like, are you fucking kidding me?

10:02 Filet mignon is supposed to be cooked rare. No matter what it's it's supposed to be cooked rare. At the very, very, very minimum, you get medium rare, but you always have to have that warm red center. Of course, this was well done. It hurts my soul to hear that. It really did digi nan's. Basically charred at that. .0 Honey digi nan's food was raw, his his steak came. Raw, you know. It was seared but not like like usually that's how I would eat it because I love that kind of shit. But he was so disgusted.

10:45 It would have been so nice to have a sound button for it's fucking raw. We can do that, maybe one day. I think that's on our. So here's we we obviously turn around and say hey, you kind, you mixed it up. She's supposed to have rare, he's supposed to have medium. They RIP our plates off the table, rush them into the back again. 5-10 minutes later, come back out. They give us our food. His shit is still fucking rare. My shit is still fucking well done. And now the lobster tail that they gave me is ice fucking cold.

11:32 Gets worse. It was not even seasoned. It was not even seasoned. There was no flavor. In the steak or the tail? In the steak and the tail. They didn't even give me melted butter. That's that's just. Numb I got so I was so fed up. I was like, I can't fucking eat this. And I, I, I said to Diginan, I was like, I can't eat this. I'm sorry. I don't want any of this. The guy comes rushing over to our table and Diginan is like, hey, listen man, this is this is not acceptable. Like you've made us wait almost two hours for our food.

12:10 You telling me that you lost our food. Now you bring us out our food not once but twice wrong. On top of that this is doesn't even taste good. What the fuck game are you playing? And the guy was like Oh well do you just want your dessert? Jesus Christ. And I I look at that and this is where yo all y'all know Jade is not a Karen. I can be I'm not. But I literally add into the fact I was drinking, I was starving and the food was pissing me off, the people were pissing me off, and I was so overstimulated at this point that I took one look at the guy and I said if you're serving me garbage like this, why the fuck would I want your dessert on top of that, I'm good.

12:57 I don't want your fucking food period and I would like to leave now. Guy rushed over, only charged Diginan for my drink, comped everything because we didn't eat it. We didn't eat it. Keep in mind now this is now we're it is about 9:15 at night. We are hard pressed to figure out where the hell else we're going to go for food. He's trying to make it up to me. He's like, oh, do you want me to take you to your favorite Thai spot? So I'm like, yeah, you know what? Let's see if we can even get in there.

13:31 I called them. I asked them if there there are tables available. They said no, we're full up. We've had a ton of reservations. OK, what about a pickup order? Oh, it would take about 45 minutes because the kitchen's really slammed. I'm like, I can't eat at 10:00 at night so. There, I didn't be able to either. I wouldn't I was so I was just like, no, I'd at this point I'm just like, listen man, just Take Me Home. I'll eat pizza rolls. I'm happy like I put on pants for this. I've missed Valentine's Day with the with the Phoenix gate peoples for this.

14:01 No, I'm good, I'm good. I miss I miss fucking Valentine's Day with with Crimson for this shit. I'm good. Fuck that. So he as the last ditch resort turns around and says, well what about your favorite pizza? Do you think we can? If they're still open, do you want to get your favorite pizza? And I'm like, are they still open? Yes, they ended up still being open, got us the pizza, but I was so tired and sick at this point I only managed to eat one slice of it and then I went to bed. Well, I'm happy you at least got something 'cause that's crazy.

14:35 Hey, something's better than nothing. I got to give the pizza place fucking huge props because not even just that, they turned around and told us that it would take about 45 minutes for us to get our pizza. They came in 20 minutes. Diginan, explain what happened to the delivery guy. The delivery guy said. That is absolute fucking bullshit. I'm so happy that I could be of service to you. And Diginan gave him the biggest tip. And Diginan is the worst tipper, so that's big. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But that is on record as one of the worst Valentine's Days I've ever had.

15:14 And it's not even like anything you necessarily had control over, no. Gin and either. Exactly. It's it's, it's literally outside forces, which by outside forces the restaurant. Yeah, but you would also think that, but if you're serving somebody, you put a prefix menu out to get quicker turnover you. You would think that too, especially since like yo you guys, you guys have a like you said, a pre set up menu Yeah and it's not even like you have a lot. You got 2 entrees, 2 of appetizers. And two desserts.

15:50 And two desserts, like it's not hard. It's not hard. You're not, it's not like you're working at freaking Gordon Ramsay's like kitchen. And you got like a whole plethora of like dishes like, you know, filet, you know, special filet mignon or, or like a like any, any specific dish that would take you time to make. Yeah, like. It's not like I asked for a fucking Wagyu steak and chimichurri and all sorts of freaking crazy shit. You didn't. Oh, and then oh, that's the other thing. I almost forgot to tell you guys.

16:28 We had ordered broccoli as a side dish. Never got it.

16:34 OK, but like, I'm not like. Besides the fact that this place sounded like it was being run under a shit show, it's kind of hilarious that they couldn't even cook the meat and they forgot the one thing that they possibly couldn't mess up. It's very hard to mess up broccoli in my book. Yeah, well, either way, you So that was my Horror Story for Valentine's Day. What about you, Crimson? Did you have a good Valentine's Day?

17:05 For Valentine's Day, I mean, I didn't really really necessarily celebrate it on day of. I just chilled at home for the day of. Yeah, I just, you know what I did? Slept. Besides sleep, I also took care of a couple errands. Yay. Got to, got to, got to be. Productive. I think the only one of us, that of the gate actually, that had a good Valentine's Day was you, Lav. Probably, I mean, and even the thing that wasn't like perfect, they got their cosmic karma and it made me feel really good as a, you know, justice crap girly.

17:43 But and it was very nice for like the first time in my life to have a partner that like did something that was like about me and what I love to do and just showed that he really knew me and it like meant a lot to me. And apparently my mom had asked so she could tell my dad and my dad direction. Was oh, that's actually so nice. That's awesome because. You know, we, we actually went, I feel so bad that your restaurant wasn't good because we actually went to a really nice restaurant. It was kind of like a like a wine bar type situation, but it was like Ukrainian, which was really interesting.

18:23 It was over in Queens and it was great. We I got to have my favorite rose champagne. We got to get a little wine tipsy that they give us so much cheese. So I was in like my happy place. It was all my favorite comfort foods, rose cheese. And then they had a full like pierogi like sampler platter, which was so good. And then we went to go see Wuthering Heights, which I was very excited to see because I'm a huge Emerald Fennel fan. So I was very excited and had a great time in the movie. And I think probably the funniest was when we walked out, Ralph was like, I don't know if I was the target audience for this movie.

19:09 No, wait, you and I, Lav, you and I will have to do a nice little review of Withering Heights. We're definitely going to have to be doing that as a small little real woman and and a TikTok. Obviously we'll be putting that up on those socials. We won't be talking about Withering Heights here because I have a lot of things to say about that and I don't want it to take away from the actual episode that we are doing. Folks at the gate loved her How to Train Your Dragon episode, so maybe we do something similar in all the fun movies we've got to see.

19:43 The last I. Mean we have I mean honestly you and me Lav, we have seen in the last. Week. It hasn't even been a full tomorrow. Make it a full no. A week. It'll be a week. We've seen three major movies in the last week. Yeah, we saw Dracula love story. We saw. Iron lung, OH. So good. I loved iron lung and we saw weather and heights but on different days. Right, so you and I can do a full full on episode about those 3 movies if we like. 100% and then. Obviously Crimson will join in because we need to do a full episode on Iron Lung alone.

20:22 Yes. Oh yeah, I don't even think even like a portion of an episode would really get. No, iron long is the is so good it deserves its own episode. And I'm I'm going to sit there and tell you now, Phoenix nation, get your asses to the theater and watch that movie. Holy shit, Holy fucking it was so good. I I was impressed Markiplier knocked it out of the fucking park with that movie. Oh yeah, absolutely. So I don't want to go on a tangent and talk about how good it was. We are going to bring a full breakdown of that movie to you in a later episode.

21:02 And obviously Lavender and I will be talking about Wuthering Heights and a Dracula love story on our social media. So if you are not following us on our social media, why not? Where are you? Where are. You. And I'm so sorry, but yeah. But that actually does kind of considering how it kind of is a good segue into what we are talking about. Considering how much time we spent in front of the big screen this week. How in over the years that smartphones and iPads and the computer and all these things that have developed into what they are now has caused what a lot of people actually suffer from, which is called screen addiction.

21:51 People are literally addicted to the screen. And The funny thing is, is do you remember as kids how our parents would sit there and say, oh, you're going to become a couch potato? You're addicted to TV. Yeah. Well, and before we even had iPads and and smartphones. Yeah, like my mom didn't say that a lot, but. You 2 are younger than me, so you may not. You may not have gotten it as much as as much as I did as a child, 'cause I'm not gonna lie, as a kid I actually did sit down in front of my TV 90% of the time instead of going out and playing after a while, and that was just because of my own neurodivergence.

22:33 I didn't want to go outside because I just wasn't in the right headspace to do that anymore. Yeah. And there are reasons that I don't need to get into. Y'all don't need to hear about the trauma. This is in the therapy session, yeah. But this is in the Trauma Down podcast. Or it could be. No, not this one. Emotional, damn it. But I do remember growing up hearing how like, you know, if you were addicted to your video games, you were, you know, a problem. If you were addicted to TV, you were, you know, it was a problem.

23:07 But there was never a like, formal diagnosis of anything like being screen addicted. Because also keep in mind I am older than both of you. So I was around for the age of the Internet and a lot of people said that with the oncoming of the Internet and all the websites that people had access to now, you know, with the World Wide Web and AOL and all that shit, as it evolved, that people were going to become addicted to their computers and never want to leave the house. I mean, I, I, I might be younger than you, but I still remember hearing about that.

23:40 I remember when we when the computers first came out. I remember using it. No, I'm not saying you guys don't remember. I'm saying I probably may have seen it happen more in real time. Yeah. You know, 'cause we didn't have smartphones when I was in junior high school and high school, ours phones were flip phones that didn't have the ability to send even. We didn't even have cameras in our original cell phones. I'm. Trying to remember when when I had around what time was it when I first saw my when I first saw that the smartphones.

24:14 I would say it would be the first Android and that would be probably around when you were 15. Most likely, yeah. So I was in like at least in. High school, you would have you would have been a freshman. I remember at least having like an iPhone, like iPhone. There was the iPhone, iPhone. IPhone iPhone already had like their fifth generation or something by then and. When you were in high school, Yeah, well, the first Android and the first iPhone did come out around the same time. I was, I would say about 2223.

24:51 At the time you would have been 13. You guys would have been in junior high school when that happened because I remember the first smartphone came out. Hold on, let's you're going to look it up for me. Yeah, Fact Check me. I'm just like. Fucking fact I'm. Just like wait a second, this numbers ain't numbering. No Fact Check me because I remember that the phone started evolving when I was in junior high school. It went from a simple flip phone like the Razor phone, which was the highlight because it had a color screen and and all that shit.

25:23 I had a razor phone. I still have my Razor phone I. Had that in middle school, right, Because when I was like 13, because I needed to like my school, like made us like walk home from school. They wouldn't let us take the bus. Yeah. And my mom was like worried. So like, that was the the phone that I had. I had a razor phone. I had a razor phone. That I had an envy. Yeah, no, I had a Razor phone in high school and before that I had an ancient Nokia phone like the the Nokia phone I. Never heard the name Nokia, I think the last one the.

25:57 Last Nokia. I think I still have one too. I do. But I think the one. That used to have before. That I kind of threw it at somebody just to. Just to see. Yeah. But either way, I I remember how cool we thought that the fucking razor was because it had a color screen and you had that tiny little shitty ass camera in it and we thought we were the coolest fucking kids. And then 2007. Thank you. Then Nextel came out next yes, So then I was right 2007 I would have been 25, but whatever, I'm not doing math right now.

26:39 Crimson Math is too. Hard. We're not going to focus on that, Crimson. No, no, she wasn't ready. No, no. We're hurting and friends. That doesn't exist. Time doesn't exist. We've moved on the Nextel. Right. Well, Nextel existed. And then also with the Nextel came out the BlackBerry. With BlackBerry came the Oh my God, those flip side phones, the sidekicks. Sidekicks were a thing. And those had like the more advanced screens, the sidekicks. But still, you weren't able to be like, again, this wasn't something that you would have been fully addicted to because it didn't have the capability that our phones do now.

27:17 Yeah. You couldn't go on the Internet? Nope. I think at the time the only way I could get on the Internet that was not on the family computer was on maybe my iPhone touch, if I even had an iPhone touch at the time or the very limited like Internet capabilities of the original DS. Yes. What? Because you could get. YouTube on the DS and that was the most you could do Internet wise and there were some chat capabilities but at least for me that was my only access to the Internet until like before that wasn't included in our big.

27:54 Crimson's giving me the ultimate smirk right now. You were 22. Oh, so I did say I was right 22. And I was 12. Fuck.

28:06 But I still remember it. You're. Lying. You're. Lying well wasn't a good year for me.

28:15 OK, well anyways, as we, yeah. Sorry, I just like I. Just. Want. Gap I wanted to just clarify the math because I was just like, wait a second, how old were we? So keep in mind, wait. A God damn minute. So keep in mind at this point, the only time that you've ever like, so I'm saying that it was probably a little bit more susceptible to you guys because you were younger than me and you guys were you grew up with the smartphone being more readily available. I did not. I definitely did not. For me, in my case, it was even like social media that that it was the game.

28:56 Well, that's the thing. Here's the other thing. What you guys didn't realize because you were too young to know Facebook was not available the way that it is available now. Oh, I know you were only able to get a face. It was only for colleges. You had to have a valid college e-mail to have a Facebook the way, remember. That from the movie The Social. Network, right? The way that everybody was communicating back then was Zynga Live Journal and Myspace. That's how everybody was able to get in touch with everybody else that if they weren't texting.

29:30 Now keep in mind also the plans were very different back then too. You couldn't have, you didn't have unlimited text. You did not have the ability to talk during the day every time. Call me after 9:00 and text messaging, Don't even get me started on text messaging. Every text message cost you like $0.10. It was crazy and you had a lot then. Then they introduced the plans that allowed you to have a certain amount. Like unlimited. And then somehow it wasn't unlimited. Yeah, it was so it. Was it was so much.

30:00 Now it's thank God, now it's even. Oh, it's where it needed needed to be emotional. I. Remember, I really had to re educate my dad on that. Yeah. I can't count how many times when when the whole unlimited messages and unlimited like phone calls things started being a thing. Which I think is the start of what would have caused the screen addiction that everybody has now, because now you have that ability to constantly be looking at the screen in your pocket. Oh yeah. And then when we had the introduction to the first Android smartphone, iPhone, then a few years later I iPhone rolled out the iPad, the original iPad, that was the first tablet.

30:50 So now all of a sudden you have this big fucking tablet that you can carry with you. And they was toted as like, you know, better than the iPhone or just a companion or whatever. I don't know, I'm not an iPhone user, but this I think is what started. Come out before the iPhone or after the iPhone. After. What happened? The iPad came out after the iPhone, right? Because. I think the iPhone. Was the 1st. Product in their line no Max obviously were. First. Oh yeah. Well, obviously. But if we're talking.

31:21 About tablets. Phones and iPods and iPod touch. I think the iPods were first. IPod came out first. Yes, it did. I know that. Then came iPhone and then the iPad. Yeah, and then the tablet. Yes, so, and this is what I think started what people refer to as the iPad generation because parenting at, you know, gets worse as we get, you know, older or easier or whatever the fuck you want to say. And people would be like just shove the kid in front of an iPad and let them go wild, go nuts, put a YouTube video on for them and they're happy.

32:00 Am I wrong? You are not wrong. And it's so crazy because, look, I've worked in daycare a long time, and it's interesting the way it, like, changed as, you know, younger kids came in right where, you know, we actually had a slated time of the day because my boss, my aunt, tried to keep from having the iPads ever in the daycare because, one, she didn't want any kids to feel bad if some kids had them and some kids didn't. Yeah. Because they were super. Expensive. So there was exactly. So it was specifically like if you were one of the last kids there, you were allowed to use it when all the other kids left, right?

32:44 But it at one point we ended up having an hour out of the day that was just so the kids could sit and watch YouTube videos. Screen time, Yeah, I do remember screen it to. The TV, but it was like that was their screen time. That wasn't like regular TV was. We'd go outside, we'd come in, and for whatever reason, they liked watching these YouTube videos of cars crashing from, like, a video game that was, you know, obviously wasn't Grand Theft Auto. We're talking about toddlers. But we would put it on and they would just, like, sit there and, like, be enthralled.

33:24 And I was like, Oh my. God, yeah. But I do remember, I remember hearing about how some people were saying, oh, I gotta limit the screen time that my kid has in front of his iPad. And I was like, why? And they were like, oh, I'm afraid of him becoming addicted. I'm like addicted to what? And they're they're like, I never understood it. I mean, and now I'm starting to now I'm starting to, but back then I was like, what the fuck is even happening? Like what do you mean this kids going to be addicted?

33:53 Yeah, because back then it was just like, oh, you know, it's what's whatever. No, they're not going to be. But now it's at this day and age now with the younger generation too, of, you know, smaller kids, you see a lot more of of like kids needing. And I say like, they like need apparently. Like they need to be on their phones, on their path, on their phones, on their. Path, yeah. Mostly, mostly when I'm talking about like the younger generation, I'm talking about like small, small, not like teenagers, whatever, because teenagers would be a phone.

34:29 But I'm talking about like the younger generation where it's just like a tablet. Yeah, anything. It doesn't even have to be an iPhone, just a tablet of any kind. Yeah. And now they make all sorts of them. Yeah. Just for. Kids, yeah, they, now they. And now it's, it's at a point now where like these kids need like just to regulate themselves. It's crazy, yeah. It's crazy. It is like even with the older kids, right? Like as admittedly, I, you know, I was, you know, kicking with my mom about Valentine's Day.

35:00 And I told her and like, you know, I worked with kids for such a long time and my mom works at a high school. And I even said to her, I was like, what is up with the generation after my brother Brendan? So to give contacts, my brother Brendan was born in 2002. And that's going to make us all feel really old. Shut up. I'm like, what happened after that generation? And she's like, what do you mean? And I was like, mom, I was sitting in the movie theater and I'm like, look, if you got an answer, a text, whatever, it happens, right?

35:30 But we were sitting in the movie and this person, this group of people, they were so attached to their phones, they couldn't go more than one. Like literally not even one minute, minute of the movie without pulling the phone out, scrolling through Instagram in the middle of the movie, but with the full brightness on, which is why I was getting annoyed taking pictures for their Snapchat of the movie with the flash on. And I was like, that's crazy. And it's like, you know, even my mom said she was like Kayla.

35:59 That's why we have the rules at the school. I'm like, what do you mean? She's like, we literally have to put a ban on the kids having their phone on them in any capacity in the school because they will not, not only will they just stare at their phone the entire class and look, granted, I went to a Catholic High School. You so much as had an inkling of a phone somewhere. It was confiscated within .5 seconds. But you know, apparently my mom was telling me that's a huge reason they have the rule at the public high school she works at.

36:29 Because the kids will not only not only just stare at the phone, but their parents. And maybe this is where I get a little judgy. A lot of them want to be like their kids friends. They don't really parent them. Yeah. So like, they don't tell them at home. Like, hey, you can't be scrolling through your phone when someone's talking to you or hey, you can't just do whatever you want whenever you want to because it's like insane that they think that like this phone and their addiction to this phone hold presidents.

37:00 And I'll be honest, I even like, and I'm trying to find a better balance personally so I can continue making new content for the gate, even do stuff for myself because it's easy to get. Addicted to lavender? How could you say that monster? I'm trying to do that. I'm trying to get myself to like reframe how I think about the phone because I'll either think of it as just work and never want to touch it. Or. It'll be like I'll just scroll mindlessly through TikTok in the middle of the night when I know I should be going to sleep.

37:33 Yeah. So I don't know like. I need to view it in a more positive, constrained way because to keep me from thinking oh it's work and it's giving me a goddamn headache because I've been scaring at a computer screen for hours. Yeah, I deliberately remember. I deliberately remember being told in high school when we were being taught like certain things are at the computer, like typing and all sorts of fucking shit, coding, all sorts of shit like that. I deliberately remember them saying 15 minutes on the screen, 15 minutes off the screen, because you don't want your head to hurt.

38:07 You don't want your eyes to hurt, you know, you don't want to get eye strain. Like I deliberately remember being taught that in high school. I do not. I do not. I don't even think people see that anymore, which is why they like started creating the blue light glasses because of the glares from the phones and the TV. 'S yeah, because everyone is on some form of phone or tablet, even as adults. Because everything for work is through a computer or a tablet. Even when I worked in the office, I do. And even when I did work in an office, they made you do Zoom meetings in the office.

38:48 Yeah. And I was like, what's the point of that if I'm in an office? It used to drive me absolutely crazy. May I speak now? You may. Crimson, you wanted to say something? I just bet that was it. Okay, I was like, you're trying to say something. I'm sorry but did we? We didn't even say what the actual like OK. Screen addiction refers to the compulsive use of digital devices to the extent that it interferes with daily life. It is categorized under behavioral addictions and can have severe implication on an individual's mental and physical health.

39:24 Now, that means that you have to be. Now we're not talking like, oh, this someone's just excessively on their phone. We're talking about someone that is so excessively on their phone, on the computer, on their tablet, on the TV, on whatever, whatever screen that they are they are looking at that it literally prevents them from bathing, going to school or work, you know, functioning in any capacity, eating, sleeping. Like we're talking severe. That is the severe side of the addiction, correct? Yeah.

39:58 So, yeah, there are warning signs that you should be looking out for in someone, especially if you're what, like, you know, if we're talking about the younger generation here, we're talking about younger people. One of them is excessive screen time. This is now the most apparent symptom. Obviously it's the one that you're going to see. They're going to be glued where they're browsing social media, playing online games, streaming videos. If they are literally like the first thing they do when you wake up is grab your phone and check it.

40:32 And the last thing you do before you go to sleep is you're on your phone or you're on your a video game system or your tablet or whatever. That is considered excessive. What if what if like that's literally the the majority of your day is right? Not even looking at your phone, but you look at it in the morning and you look at it at night. I don't know if that would be considered. I don't think that's considered an addiction. Yeah. Because at that point, because it's just like it's a little bit different circumstances.

41:03 I don't think it's, I don't think it's addiction for that one, no. Now, the second sign that that you're supposed to be looking out for is a neglect of responsibilities. Screen time addiction often leads to neglecting important daily responsibilities. This could mean lower grades, poor performance at work, or neglect of household duties and personal cleanliness. So this is a red flag. Like if you start noticing that, like you would rather be on your phone than brushing your teeth and taking a fucking bath, that's a problem.

41:33 Yeah. That is a big problem. That's a big problem. Yeah, I'll be right. We don't like that. We really need you all to bathe. Please. Yeah. You know the society is as as strife as it is. Please bathe. Yeah, bathing is good for you. We've talked about this. Another thing to look out for is mood disturbances. Pay attention to mood swings, especially irritability and restlessness that is related to screen use. People become agitated and visibly upset if they cannot use their devices or if their screen time is interrupted.

42:15 Also, they can exhibit signs of depression or anxiety when they are not engaged with their devices, which can be indicative to underlying depressive symptoms as well. Those first beginning parts that you just talked about, I literally just said when it came to the kids too. Yeah, you did. Literally they'll they'll they'll have a full blown tantrum because they're not able to see. Yeah, just. Because they're not able to see their their bluey or whatever or. Whatever it is. Yep, that they're watching, Yeah.

42:42 Or play their game or. Yeah, it's, it's, it's so bad. Miss Rachel? Yeah. They all want Miss Rachel. Another thing, no. Hate to miss Rachel. No no, no. Hate to miss Rachel, but another thing that to look out for is sleep issues, which we were literally just talking about. Overuse of screens, especially before bed, can lead to sleep problems. The blue light, which I literally just said emitted by screens, can disrupt the natural sleep cycle by suppressing melatonin production, leading to a difficulty falling asleep, insomnia, or unrestful sleep.

43:21 If someone complaints of feeling tired during the day or has altered their sleep schedule to accommodate more screen time, it could be due to screen addiction and inconsistent sleep patterns. Poor sleep can negatively affect mental and physical health, making it important to prioritize a healthy amount of sleep. Like not hard sleep, it's like sleep is is good as my insomniac ass who barely fucking sleeps talks shit. I am a hypocrite. Don't do as I do Fuck off. Very valid. Like, sleep is so important.

43:58 And as somebody who like, lives with mental health issues, you know I'm doing real bad when that sleep is slipping because Crimson and Jade can tell you I'm a pretty decently early to bed girly. I like to be in bed or at least winding down by like 10/10/30. You're an old lady. I'm an old lady and then I sit and read my book for maybe an hour and I go to. Bed. It's still not a screen. It's true and sometimes, I'm not going to lie, sometimes it is. And sometimes I need to like stop myself and be like why am I scrolling through these same like what is this doing for me?

44:40 It's like I have to go to bed. Go to bed like a chicken. What got exactly? You want to, We're going to have Crimson read a couple more of these symptoms to watch out for because you know that one. Yeah. Good. Yeah. So another one where I guess would be considered like physical discomfort. Extended screen use can cause physical symptoms such as eye strain, headaches, and back and neck pain. Literally what I said. Yeah, if a young adult frequently complaints about these issues or if you notice them rubbing their eyes, squinting or changing posture while using digital devices, excessive screen use might be the link to these behaviors.

45:27 Yeah. I mean, I can also see a lot of the times like, you know, especially with the blue light, it does it, it can very much. I don't. And that's just mainly because my lenses are meant for blocking already, right? You you. Yeah, but I I get headaches. Yeah, me in terms of like what I do for work and this, but that's the thing for me when I'm looking at screens, it's it's for work, It's not even like. Pleasure. It's work is slightly pleasure, but it's, it's, you know, it really all depends on what I'm doing.

46:01 But you know, in, in most of the cases I'm, I'm at least going through zooms, yeah, Zoom meetings and, and classes and stuff. But if I'm working like on 3D models, obviously I'm going to be, I'm working on a 3D model for a couple hours of the window. But another one would, yeah, another one would also be essentially would be social withdrawal. Screen addiction can lead to withdrawal from social interactions, also known as social isolation. Yeah, adults may prefer online interactions over face to face communication.

46:36 I know I do. Yeah, or they might skip social events to spend time engaging in activities on their digital devices, such as social networking. If you notice a shift from active social involvement to isolation, this might be an indication of that problems. Yeah, but we also need to understand that that could also be a very big indication of other underlying psychological problems, not just screen addiction. Oh no, of course. I mean. It it it's just more of just like it can be one of the the the causes.

47:16 Yeah. What do you think, Lev? I would say like I definitely with the headaches, it's so real. Like very similar to Crimson. I'm constantly on my computer for work, like I work remotely. So everything I do is on the computer online sitting in my chair. I'm supposed to be an ergonomic chair, but my back still hurts and just staring at a screen. Like I'm not even going to lie right now, I had to take an to Advil right before we started the show because I was getting a headache. Yeah. And I and I think it's totally because of I was sitting computer all day when I'm doing that constantly on a day-to-day basis.

48:04 And because I'm still fighting this little like under the weather nest I've been having, it's like even more susceptible to it. And it's no fun because they those kind of like screen headaches. They're like, they're just, it's like I can't. I would call them like worse than a ton genetic. They are, because honestly, I kind of feel like they just don't go away. Even with taking Advil or or Tylenol or any of that, they just don't go away. And the only time that I can get them to go away is I have to sit in a dark room with my eyes closed for a good like hour or more and then I just end up falling.

48:39 Asleep. No, Exactly. Yeah, yeah. So the final suggestion of what to look out for that could be screen addiction are the withdrawal symptoms. Now, someone who uses technology excessively may also struggle with screen addiction withdrawal symptoms if they have their devices taken away or have to go for a prolonged period without screen use. These withdrawal symptoms could include irritability, restlessness, anxiety or difficulty concentrating, or just a full blown meltdown, as Crimson was saying earlier.

49:19 Yeah, like I would say that's the one I've seen most often being in like the child care space. I thankfully have never experienced such things because I just at this point, I'm at my point in my life where I'm like, I'm on it too much for work. I like, don't even want to look at it half the time, but it's one of those things and I'm like, it's crazy. And especially now with the introduction of like newer, more interactive technologies like AII, can only see that getting worse and worse and worse.

49:56 Now there like everybody's like, oh, you know, just screen addiction. Here are some of the things that screen addiction can legitimately do to your brain. Yeah. The prefrontal cortex is responsible for decision making and impulse control, and it is not fully developed in young people. The difficulty in managing impulses and resisting the instant gratification that is provided by digital devices can always affect individuals negatively. So you're literally fucking with your prefrontal cortex. If you are addicted to a screen, you're preventing it from being able to develop properly.

50:35 So that's one huge freaking downside to being a, you know, having these screens in our faces all the time. The other another one is the instant gratification and the brain's reward system, which could also, you know, really attribute to a lot of things because I've noticed that as smartphones have gotten stronger, I do find that I myself do have this problem on occasion. And it is the digital devices provide immediate rewards through likes, shares and comments, which is particularly appealing. For example, you post a photo on Instagram and you get instant feedback through likes and comments.

51:18 This is reinforcing that behavior and encouraging continuous engagement. It's like. Giving why it feels good, right? It it. But here's the thing. It also can affect you negatively because you post something up and you get no comments, no likes, nobody sees it and all of a sudden you're worthless. Everybody hates you. You have no. Friends, especially from like the cosplay space, right? Like, you know, and it's even harder now that Instagram has basically like destroyed any form of getting real engagement.

51:49 But like, especially when I used to post more of my cosplay stuff and I want to get back into that, it was like, you know, I'm not going to lie, sometimes I would get ones and I would get all this great feedback and I feel so good. And you know, I'll I'll admit, like I would post a cosplay I worked really hard on and no one would interact with it. And I'm not. Going to worry. It would make me feel a little like, oh, am I like, But also, you know, that instant gratification sometimes gives negative feedback.

52:18 It does. Like at the peak of my popularity on Instagram, I used to get some really mean comments telling me that I was like, I look like a man. I didn't look like Daisy Ridley. I wasn't pretty enough. I didn't have like soft enough features because I have very sharp angular features. So people would make comments about that, especially when there were shots that were like closer up on my face being like, oh, is that a guy cosplaying Gwen Stacy and being like, oh, oops. Like, so it's like a double edged sword, you know?

52:52 It is the other thing that a lot of people, and this is something that I suffer from because I suffer from rejection sensitive dysphoria, is FOMO, fear of missing out. And because of the social media and screen addictions, the pressure to stay connected and up to date on social media to be always available. The desire is there and, and it leads to compulsive checking of notifications and messages. And it's like, it can really give you a strong sense of like just missing out, you know? And it's not a good feeling to have.

53:32 Like prime example, Catsicon was this past weekend. And basically for for me, it was, I didn't really miss out on anything. I didn't really feel bad about not being there because I've never wanted to go to that convention. But I saw some of my friends were there and I was just like,

53:52 like it made me sound. Yeah. It made me sad because I legitimately was like I wanted to be where my friends are but I will never go to that con because fuck that con but you, you, you feel me you feel me. On this and sometimes you see things and you're like, oh, and even if it literally has nothing to do with you, right, you're like, oh, why wasn't I invited? That, yeah. And it activates the rejection sensitive dysphoria that I already struggle with on a daily, on a day-to-day basis, and it just makes it that much fucking worse.

54:26 It makes it that much fucking worse. Then we have the other shit that can happen. You have academic and professional demands that you can blur the lines between what's productive and recreational marketing tactics where tech companies are going to use the algorithm and design against you so that you are constantly stuck swirling. Then you have mental health vulnerabilities, which I was just saying that the the anxiety, depression, ADHD, you have blue light and sleep disruption, obviously, as I just spoke about that as well.

54:58 And then you have doom scrolling and anxiety, which means that you will literally get yourself into some of these negative rabbit holes, especially on TikTok and especially with the way the world is going today. Oh. 100%. You know, and you're just sitting there like, holy fuck. And you'll literally like this is this is not, this is not healthy for us. And and, and unfortunately, there's no way to really combat it without fully giving up. But unfortunately, the way that the world is now, you can't hate it.

55:32 Fucking hate it. It's like a constant battle of just not only like attention, but also like in things trying to grab your attention. Like from a marketing background, like I can tell you we have back end data that's constantly telling us what you're looking at, how you're looking at it, which is why I know I've said it in previous episodes and this will sound bad. I'm going to preface this. I thought the whole the government suing meta thing was laughable because we've been doing this for years.

56:09 I was taught this in school. Like this is a normal industry practice, whether it's right, like honestly, like the government just did it to make it seem like they were doing something, but they they don't do anything. They use the same data we used. They. No they. Sell. Our fucking. Data. Yeah, they not. I mean, marketing companies do too. But everybody sells your data. That everybody's selling your your data. And it was so nuts to me. And they're like, oh, bad guy Mark Zuckerberg. Look, I don't like Mark Zuckerberg, but I was like, you were just doing this to find a scapegoat and put the attention off of the fact that everyone's doing it.

56:47 So there are ways that you can combat this. There is obviously setting boundaries around your screen time. That's a good, that's a good way to start. You give yourself limits. And then you can also make what's known as a tech free zone in your house or your apartment where literally you can say the dining room is not, do not bring your phone in the dining room kind of thing. Or, you know, bedroom is a tech free zone. Like you take the TV out of your bedroom and you don't, you turn your phone on do not disturb, you know, and it just basically like forces you to engage unless you live alone and that sucks.

57:26 The other thing is like encouraging all offline activities like outdoor adventures, creative arts, sports and physical fitness, volunteering, even mindfulness and meditation can really help combat the addiction that you have in any addiction honestly. That's just kind of like, also crazy because, you know, we have so many apps now for, like, meditation and mindfulness. Yeah. But it still has a lot to find the screen. That's what I was going to say. Like, I do find them helpful. Like for example, my work pays for a certain mental health app app where you can use it to meditate and look.

58:06 I am trying to get back into doing it every day because it was very helpful for me. And I'm trying to get back to some other types of routines as I've been getting settled in my new place and getting over this this stickiness.

58:20 No, on the phone. We have no problem. Like, you're still reading it off the screen. So it's really strange because it's like, yeah, I would love to just have these meditations, like memorized in the back of my head. And it's kind of why my therapist we, you know, she teaches me certain things that I can do without there needing to be like a walkthrough tutorial. But even then, it's kind of like so much of our learning is dependent still on screens. Yeah, but that's why they're also saying if you do have something that is like this or a family member or person you love that is like this, it is good to also use therapeutic techniques and treatment, getting professional help, group support, using mindfulness techniques and modeling behavior.

59:07 Like you can set the example for someone else honestly. Yeah, like, it's good. It is, especially mindfulness classes, because it forces new for every day, like eating an apple to think about how it feels, how it tastes. It kind of takes you off. Yeah. It is. Any final thoughts guys?

59:32 I guess for me, like my my final thoughts when it comes to the the sort of stuff, obviously in this day and age right now, just not being on a screen at all for most people is just unavoidable. Yeah, but doing things more in moderation is probably a better way of going about it. I don't disagree with you, I think that's a pretty good idea. Like setting like I even know a couple people too that actually do set their. Weekly goals for like screen time? Really, yes, where it's just like I'm not trying to be on my screen more than like, I don't know, I'm going to throw out like a random number here like no more than like 6 hours of screen time.

1:00:20 Per week. On their phone. Okay, okay, okay. TV's and. Stuff like that, that's going to be like. I'm not counting. I'm not counting TV's. I'm not counting TV's. I'm not counting, you know. Computer. Computer because you know, especially if you if you got to work, you know that's, that's different. You know, that circumstances are a little bit different, but like, in terms of like stuff like that, like social media, you know, this and that. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's pretty cool. That's a good idea.

1:00:47 Yeah, I might actually start trying to do that. But then we have the Phoenix gate. So no, I have to live on the screens of something, whether it's a computer screen, phone screen, it. It it can even be. It can even just be in terms of like screen time outside of that stuff. Though that is true, I can actually start practicing that to try to help break that habit, as Lavender was mentioning, yeah. Most people's phones actually keep track of how long they've been on their screens, so. Yeah, Yeah, they do.

1:01:17 There's. There's small apps for. That they do what? What about you, Lav? Your final thoughts? I would say, like, I have to agree with Crimson, you know, like it's almost impossible for any of us in a day-to-day, whether it be your job or whether it be how you communicate with friends, because there are some benefits. Like I'm able to still stay really connected to my friends when I live down in Orlando because of screens. But at the same time, it gets very overwhelming. So I think the idea of moderation is the most practical.

1:01:52 And I think the other thing is we need to encourage like, I'm not trying to like, you know, sound like one of those almond moms, but. We. Need to encourage like kids and like I loved how we did it at daycare. The way we encourage the kids was you got a certain amount of hours outside every single day, did an activity, played if it was too cold, we did a board game or we did coloring or play DoH. And this is just like, obviously like a structured example. We need to make sure that our kids are doing things other than staring at their iPads all day because it's not healthy for them.

1:02:29 No, it's not. And it's obviously not resulting exactly. And it's not resulting in, you know, appropriate behaviors for children. It's making them anxious, It's making them nervous, and it's allowing people to trail on that. Exactly. And especially in a world where, like a lot of these kids, their formative years were COVID, Yeah, when they were locked inside and there was nothing else to do. Yeah. So I think it really needs to become a matter of we're proactively also protecting our kids in this space and creating moderation for them so they can learn and then teach themselves from example.

1:03:09 Agreed. Like my final thoughts on this were like, again, I was a little bit I was a little bit older when the screen craze started. So I think that I was able to avoid some of the worst symptoms of it. But I do still suffer from my own personal screen addiction because I'll admit and Lavender and Crimson can can confirm my phone is never very far from my hand. It's just not like whether I'm using it or I'm holding it or I'm talking on it or, you know, I'm taking pictures with it. My phone is never far from my hand and that's a problem.

1:03:49 And I do know that and I've been trying to get better with it and you know, it hasn't gotten to a point where it's like starting to interrupt things. But I do find myself getting a little anxious if I can't check my phone, you know, for messages or stuff, stuff like that. So I am recognizing the, the, the symptoms of an addiction in myself. And that's why this episode is so important to me, honestly, Because while I avoided it in the early formative years, I am starting to experience it now. And I am so trying to not like have this where it's going to affect the rest of my mental neural divergences because it will and it has it will and it has.

1:04:34 So please be mindful. Phoenix nation, you know, just be aware that these this is happening. This is real. It's not something that we made-up. It's not something that like we want to, you know, because the boomers say that it's not real. No, it's fucking. Real. It's a thing. Boomers are probably some of the worst case. Oh yeah. Let's be real, OK? Like. Putting that out there, I know, but if you go, if you or someone you know is experiencing any of the things that we talked about tonight, please reach out to a professional you know about maybe getting them some help.

1:05:17 Because one of the big things that I have noticed in all the time that I've been doing this is that screen addiction, being addicted to social media, all that stuff, it affects the mental health in such a way that it can cause someone to not want to be here anymore and has actually taken people from us because of that. So if you are experiencing that, please reach out. The Phoenix Gate is always here for you. If you do not feel comfortable going to a mental health professional, There are plenty of hotlines that you can call text if you're not comfortable with that kind of an interaction.

1:05:52 But just reach out, get help. Help is there. Help will always be there. You just have to look for it or reach your hand out.

1:06:03 On that note, I'm going to say bye. Yep. Have a good one guys, love you. Love you. Bye.